Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Warning: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, but that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On…
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Dad: Come in here, son. we need to talk. Billy: What’s up, Dad? Dad: There’s a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it? Billy: I don’t believe, if I understand the definition of “scratch the car”, that I can say truthfully that I scratched the car. Dad: Well, it wasn’t there yesterday, and you drove the car last night, and no one else has driven it since. How can you explain the scratch? Billy: Well, as…
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Santa Claus: An engineer’s perspective I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each. II.…
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A young friend of Albert Einstein’s proudly presented his eighteen-month-old son to the great scientist. The child looked up into the old man’s smiling face and promptly began to howl. Einstein patted him on the head and said fondly, “You’re the first person for years who has told me what you really think of me.”
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A blonde’s husband comes home from a hard day at the office to see his blonde wife sobbing over the kitchen sink. “Why are you crying?” asked the blonde’s husband. “Well, I went to get some ice cubes and I dropped them on the floor. I rinsed them in hot water and now I can’t find them.
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Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus, we’ll never know for whom the Tells bowled. –=[|]=– A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back,…
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Dear God, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? Norma Dear God, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones,why don’t you just keep the ones you have now? Jane Dear God, Who draws the lines around the countries? Nan Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? Neil Dear God, Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed…
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Becky was on her deathbed, with her husband Jake at her side. He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face. Her pale lips moved. “Jake,” she said. “Hush,” he quickly interrupted, “don’t talk.” But, she insisted. “Jake,” she said in her tired voice, “I have to talk. I must confess.” “There is nothing to confess,” said the weeping Jake, “It’s all right. Everything’s all right.” “No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Jake,…
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A man and his wife had been stranded on a deserted island for many years. The morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes up on the shore. The new guy and the wife are very attracted to each other right away, but they realize that certain protocols will have to be observed. The husband, oblivious to the pheromones floating around, is very glad to see the second man there. “This is wonderful! Now we’ll be able to have…
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Two 8-year-old kids, 1 boy and 1 girl, decided to see which was faster in a race. They decided to run a best of three series to see who was faster. In the first race the boy won, and in the second race the boy won. “Why are boys so much faster than girls?” The girl asked. “I don’t know, let me ask my dad.” The boy replied. He went inside to ask his dad and his dad told him.…
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