What do you call?
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs: at your doorstep? Matt under a car? Jack hanging on the wall? Art floating in the ocean? Bob up in a tree? Russell
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Ing Jokes - page 519
Why it’s Great To Be A Guy
Why It’s GREAT To Be A Guy Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. Your orgasms are real. Always. Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow. Wedding plans take care of themselves. You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. Foreplay is optional. You…
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Yugo vs Rolls Royce
A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!” The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, “Yes I have a phone.” The driver of the Yugo says, “Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I’ve…
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Patch
One day, two rednecks named Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of Buds. The passenger, Bubba, said “Looky thar up ahead Earl, it’s a po-leese roadblock! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!” “Don’t worry Bubba,” Earl said. “We’ll just finish drinkin’ these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, then throw the bottles under the seat.” “What fer?” asked Bubba. “Just let me do the talkin’, okay?” said…
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Whew! My cigs are okay!
A carpet layer had worked all day installing wall-to-wall carpeting. He noticed a lump under the carpet in the middle of the living room, he felt his shirt pocket for his cigarettes–they were gone. He was not about to pull the carpet back up, so he went outside for a two-by-four. Stamping down cigarettes with it would be easy. Once the lump was smoothed, the man gathered up his tools and carried them to his truck. Then two things happened…
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Good Watermelon
Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant’s owner waited nervously for the clerics’ reactions. “Quick, Man,” he whispered to the waiter, “what did they say?” “Nothing,” replied the waiter. “They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets.”
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What’s For Supper?
There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farmhand working with him to help castrate his sheep. As the farmer castrated the sheep, the French farmhand took the parts and was about to throw them into the trash. “No!” yelled the farmer, “Don’t throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them, they’re delicious! They’re called Sheep Fries!” The farmhand saved the parts and took them to the farmer’s wife who cooked them up for…
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PINOCCHIO joke
One day, Jesus and his disciples were walking down the streets of Heaven and Jesus tripped over a old Man. He asked the old man what was the matter. He said when he was alive on earth, he had a son. So Jesus asked him to describe his son. He said that he is very polite and has holes in his hands and feet. ” Father ?!” Jesus said. The old man looked up and said ” PINOCCHIO?!!!”
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Barbie And Ken’s Letters To Santa
Barbie’s Letter To Santa: Dear Santa: Listen, you fat little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAY BACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I’m gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you…
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Taxi Colors
Two cab drivers met. “Hey,” asked one, “what’s the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?” “Well,” the other responded, “when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other.”
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