Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Hubby: “You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?” Wife: “When there is a problem, no matter how insurmountable, I look at your picture and the problem seems to disappear.” Hubby: “You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!” Wife: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself: ‘What other problem can there be that is greater than this one?’ Nothing like getting the proper perspective on a problem, don’t you agree?”
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U.S. journalist and politician Horace Greeley was renowned for his illegible handwriting. He once wrote a note to a member of his staff on the New York Tribune, dismissing him for gross negligence of duty. Meeting Greeley several years later, the journalist told his former chief how useful his note of dismissal had proved. “I took it with me,” he said. “Nobody could read it, so I declared it a letter of recommendation, gave it my own interpretation, and obtained…
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There was this guy named Joe Shitz. He lived his whole life with this peculiar name, and he finally decided to have it legally changed. He told his friend “I was tired of everyone making fun of my name. I decided to finally do something about it.” His friend asked “So what did you change your name to?” He replied “I changed it to Melvin Shitz. I was tired of everone saying “What d’ya know, Joe.”
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A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of size 8 tie shoes. The salesman says, “But, sir, I can see from up here you’re at least a size 11.” The guy says, “Just bring me a size 8 tie shoe.” The salesman brings them, the guy stuffs his feet into them, ties them tight, and then he stands up, obviously in pain. He says to the salesman, “I lost my business and my house, I…
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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, “Miss Jones, I need to take a pee!!” The teacher replied, “Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’ Please use the word ‘urinate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.” Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, “You’re…
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A man sees a dwarf drowning in the sea. The man is feeling sorry for the little guy and decides to help him. When the man rescued the dwarf, the little dwarf is glad and offers the man a wish. “I want a bridge from France to America, so I can walk to Europe and back” The dwarf laughs. “Sorry, I’m no God. Think of something less difficult. The man thinks and then says: “I would like a smart blonde…
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One day this little boy goes up to his grandpa and says, “Grandpa can you do me a favor?” “What do you want?” “Can you talk like a frog for me?” “What? No.” Then his granddaughter goes up to him and says, “Grandpa can you do me a favor?” “What is it? I’ll do anything for you my little munchkin.” “Can you talk like a frog?” “What? No. Why do you and your brother want me to talk like a…
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What is the difference between a secetary and a private secetary??? Ans:-The secetary says,”good morning sir!” While the private secetary says,”Its morning,sir!”
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These first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different hair color from the other family members. One child suggested that he was adopted, and a little girl said, “I know all about adoptions because I was adopted.” “What does it mean to be adopted?” asked another child. “It means,” said the little girl, “that I grew in my mommy’s heart instead of in her tummy.”
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I can’t come in to work today because I’ll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK? When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I can’t get off the john, but I feel good about it. I can’t come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation. If it…
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