Hurry up Jokes - page 3

Driving in China

I have always been a critic of Seattle driving, but recently I had a chance to see how others drive in far away countries, such as China. Since then, I have developed a profound respect for how we drive here in the Northwest. Why? What could be so bad about the driving in China? Here is a collection of short observations I have made riding in the Great Country of China. While Driving in China……………………… Traffic signals are (how should…

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Give Clear Directions

About five years ago, the battery in my beat-up VW beetle had died because I had left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time, so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand getting the car started. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric, oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push me fast enough to start it. I pointed out that…

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The Elevator

Upon graduation from high school in a very rural area, young John was to be escorted to “the big city” by ma and pa to scout out the location of the college he would be attending next year. Ma and Pa had never been to “the big city” either, but they were sure that they would be able to safely excort their precious son and help to answer any questions he might have-since everything in “the big city” would be…

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Suk Mi Pagoda Restauarant Menu

Suk Mi Pagoda Cuntonese Cuisine 6969 Fellatio Blvd. Escondildo, CA 281-6969 (that’s Two ate one, sixty-nine,sixty-nine) OO-La-La-Carte: Cream Sum Yung Guy.. Women love it Cum Drop Soup …. Same as above, but no MSG Suc Sum Tit ….. Chef’s favorite Luncheon Specials: 1. Sum Yung Chick..Sweet and delicious 2. Sum Dum Fuc …Same as #1 but without brains 3. Wong Hong Lo…Chinese sausage with 2 meatballs 4. Suc Mi Pork….Mostly white meat for light eaters 5. Suc Mi Dork….Mostly dark…

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Dynamite

A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says “See that baby? That’s 1000 pounds of dynamite!” She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder pose and says, referring to his thighs, “See these,…

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Costume Party

A couple was going to a costume party. The husband was unsure of what costume to wear. His wife was telling him to hurry or they would be late for the party. She was walking down the stairs from the bedroom, completely naked except on her feet were a big old floppy pair of boots. “Where is your costume?” the husband asked. “This is it,” replied his wife. “What the heck kind of costume is that?” asked the husband. “Why,…

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New Broom

A woman was waiting in the check-out line at a shopping center. Her basket was filled with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious that she was in a hurry and not happy about the slowness of the line. When the cashier called for yet another price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked, indignantly, “Well, at this rate, I’ll be lucky to get out of here and…

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