Hundred men Jokes - page 4

Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska. They have a good hunt, and both manage to get a large moose. When the plane returns to pick them up, the pilot looks at the animals and says, “This little plane won’t lift all of us, the equipment, and both of those animals – you’ll have to leave one. We’d never make it over the trees on the take off.” “That’s baloney”, says one of the…

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One evening, Charlie was feeling pretty light-headed from a couple of boilermakers when he rang the bell of the most expensive cat-house in town. “How ya doin’”, he said when the madam answered the door. “I want your mos’ adventurous girl.” The madam ushered him inside and sat him down. “You have to be a little more specific”, she said. “What do you mean by ‘adventurous’?” “Well when I’ve had a couple a lil drinks, sometimes I have a tough…

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Did you hear that they caught the Lone Ranger? They took off his mask, put him up on a horse, and then put a noose around his neck. Before they hanged him, they asked him if he had any last requests… He said “yes” and that he would like a big cigar to smoke! Well, they gave him one and he began to smoke and puff, and puff and smoke. Just then one of the cowboys from the back of…

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There was this guy who found a lamp… yeah you know, he rubs it, a genie comes out, tells him he has three wishes….but you see, this genie said that whatever he wished for, his worst enemy would get twice that. (If he wished for a million dollars, his enemy would get two million) Well, the man’s enemy was his neighbor, Bill. So when the guy wished for a hundred beautiful women, Bill, of course, got two hundred women, even…

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Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I’ll see you back in court Monday.” Monday, the two guys were in…

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I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents apiece. I thought this was odd since they are normally a couple thousand apiece. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of them. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in…

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