Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There were 3 women at a bar and they were arguing over which one of them was the loosest. The first woman said, ” My husband can stick two fingers up me.” The second woman said, “Oh, big deal, my husband can stick his whole fist up me.” Then the third woman slid down the bar stool.
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Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27-year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm one Friday. Davidson was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. “You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least, I thought there wasn’t,” he…
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It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a fish to bite. He was there for almost an hour without even a nibble when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice not to far from the old man and dropped in his fishing line. It only took about a minute…
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A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said,…
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St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for new arrivals. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. “Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?” “Sure,” replied Jesus. “What do I have to do?” “Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven.” “Sounds easy enough. OK.” So Jesus waited at the gates while St. Peter went…
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I, the undersigned, a male proposing marriage agree that? Section 1. In the likely event of my not giving you an orgasm, will keep on going, despite my lack of stamina and size until you have been satisfied. Section 1.01. I?ll behave myself in a mature manner and fight the temptation to scream ?Who?s your daddy? and grunt like a sea lion. Section 1.02. I will never complain about too much foreplay. Section 2. I fully understand that a man?s…
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The Top Ten Ways to Tell if Martha Stewart is Stalking Your Dog: 10. There’s potpourri hanging from his/her collar. 9. The dog’s nails have been cut with pinking shears. 8. The dog’s toys are all stored in McCoy crocks. 7. The pooper scooper has been decorated with raffia bows. 6. The telltale lemon slice in the new silver water bowl. 5. You find liver and whole wheat dog treats stamped out with copper cookie cutters and decorated with royal…
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Dad came home one afternoon to find his young son in the middle of the floor with a pencil and paper. “What are you doing, son?” dad asked. Jr. replied, “I am figuring my debts up.” “That’s good son, and what do you think you owe?” Jr. answered, “I figure I owe mom for nine months carrying charge and at least a 2 year milk bill” “Jr., that’s great, now what do you figure you owe me?” Son thought for…
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10. I think of you as a brother.(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in ‘Deliverance.’) 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (I don’t want to do my dad.) 8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes on.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I’m…
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This man named Bob was in a golfing tournament and he was paired up with a nun. Bob was up and he just barely missed the hole. Bob: DAMN! I missed! Nun: Please, don’t use that language around me. Bob: Sorry, Sister. Well Bob just barely missed hole 14. Bob: DAMN! I missed! Nun: Sir, if you swear one more time I hope the Gods from heaven will strike you down!!! Bob: Sorry again sister, it won’t happen again. Well…
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