Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Three men – one Jewish, one Hispanic and one Italian – die and go to heaven. They meet St. Peter at the gate. St. Peter says there is only room for one soul at this time. He continues to say that the Pearly Gates need repair and the three men must offer bids to God to repair the Gates. Whoever gives the best bid will then be permitted to enter. Each man goes off in a different direction to carefully…
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Did you know that.. The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it. The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. Marilyn Monroe had six toes. If you keep a goldfish in a dark room it will eventually turn white. The names of all the continents start with the same letter that they end with. If the population of China walked past you in…
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Three girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, “Before entering you must answer this simple question.” “Which is……?”, they replied in unison. “Have you been a good girl?” He asked the first girl. “Oh yes,” she said. “I was a virgin before I got married, and was still a virgin after i got married.” “Very good”, said St.…
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THE BALLAD OF JOHN AND LORENA BOBBIT (sing to the theme of the Beverly Hillbillies) Come and listen to my story of a man named John, A poor ex-Marine with a little fraction gone. It seems one night after gettin with his wife, She lopped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife. “Penis, that is,” “Clean cut, missed his nuts” Well the next thing you know there’s a Ginsu by his side. And Lorena’s in the car takin’…
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Joe is at the Pearly Gates waiting to be admitted while St. Peter is leafing through his files to see if Joe is worthy of entry. “Joe,” says St. Pete, “I can’t see that you’ve done anything really bad in your life but I can’t see that you’ve done anything really good that would qualify you for Heaven. Can you tell me ANY good deed you’ve ever done?” Joe thinks for a moment and says “Sure. I was driving through…
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St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for new arrivals. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. “Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?” “Sure,” replied Jesus. “What do I have to do?” “Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven.” “Sounds easy enough. OK.” So Jesus waited at the gates while St. Peter went…
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Classic Version – The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he?s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. Modern Version – the ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and…
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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were trying to get in to see the Olympics without tickets. So, they got to the stadium during one of the main events and discussed how they would be able to attend without paying. The Englishman walked around the stadium and saw a pole lying on the ground and picked it up. He walked to the entrance and said, “Peter. England. Pole vaulting.” The guards let him in without hesitation. While walking, the…
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