Hey bartender Jokes - page 2

A few bar jokes

A white guy, a black guy, a Mexican, a Polish guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?” A few termites walk into a bar and ask, “Is the bar tender here?” A giraffe walks into a bar and says, “Hey, the hi balls are on me!”

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Read JokeA few bar jokes

Some Old, Some New, All Bad

Q: What’s the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? A: One says “Hey, you, get off of my cloud.” The other says, “Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe.” Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with…. the other is used to carry groceries. Q: How do you recycle toilet paper? A: Hang it on the wall and bash the…

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180 Days

Two blondes walk into a bar. They sit down order drinks and start chanting 180 days 180 days. A couple minutes later two more blondes walk into the bar sit down and order drinks. then they start chanting 180 days 180 days. The bartender asks whats this 180 days? One blonde says we did a puzzle and the box said 3 years and up and we did it in 180 days.

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The Extra-Special booze

A guy walks into a bar and sits next to another guy. The bartender asks him if he wants their extra-special drink. The man replies, “What’s so special about it?” The bartender says, “It can make you fly.” “No way! There’s no chance in hell anyone could ever fly,” he stubbornly replies. “I’ll show you. Here, this man next to you will take a drink of this, and will fly off a cliff and come back up unharmed.” “OK, show…

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Duck Food

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Do you have any duck food?” The bartender yells at him, “No, you stupid duck. This is a bar. Of course we don’t have any duck food. Now get out of here, and don’t ever come back!” The next day the same duck walks into the same bar, and says to the bartender, “Hey, do you have any duck food?” The bartender yells at him, “No! I told you…

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Drunk Giraffe

One day, a man walked into a bar with his pet giraffe. He said to the bartender, “Could I have a drink for myself and one for my giraffe, please?” The bartender, not being in the habit of serving alcohol to animals, hesitated at first but eventually gave in to the persistant pleadings of the man. The man quickly downed his drink, as did the giraffe. He asked the bartender again for a round of drinks. The bartender complied, thinking,…

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Drunken Sex Slave

One day there was a guy sitting in a bar. He kept asking for small shots of vodka, and every time he drank one he would look in his pocket. So of course he asked the bartender for another vodka. The bartender did not think much of it at first when he looked in his pocket again. Then guy asked for two more vodkas and then looked in his pocket, the bartender started to get a little suspicious. Then he…

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FUNNY bumper stickers

“I love cats…they taste just like chicken” “Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.” “Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death” “Cover me. I’m changing lanes.” “As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in publicschools” “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.” “Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.” “Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.” “REHAB is for quitters” “I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!” “Sometimes I…

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Read JokeFUNNY bumper stickers

Blowing Chunks

A Bartender makes a bet with a man. The bartender will set up 20 shots and the man has to drink them without passing out. If the man did this he would be able to drink for free. The man drank the 20 shots and with everyone slapping his back staggered home. Two weeks passed and the man returned to the bar. “Hey! There’s the man who will put me out of business!” the bartender joked “What will you have?”…

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Read JokeBlowing Chunks