Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Three contractors were touring the White House on the same day. One was from New York, another from Missouri, and the third from Florida. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. When they each replied that they were contractors, the guard said, “Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don’t you guys look at it and give me a bid.” So to the back fence they went. First…
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A new exchange student had just come to his new school and his teacher said to him, “To help you learn english faster I want you to write down four words during lunch that you really like!” The boy nodded and went to work. When he was in the playground he played a game his friends called “take off.” He liked those words so he wrote them down. Later he and his friends were playing a game where they had…
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10. “Norm” is what they say when you enter the bar. 9. Two hands and one mouth….Now THAT’S a drinking problem. 8. 24 hours a day, 24 beers in a case … coincidence??? 7. You sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group. 6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. 5. At an AA meeting you begin: “Hi my name is….uh…”. 4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.…
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Two guys wanted to go out and drink but the problem was that they had no money to buy beer. One of the guys had an idea. He went to go buy a hotdog at one of the street stands. He told his friend that when they go to the bars they just ring up their tab and then I’ll pull out the hotdog and you will start sucking on it. His friend said it wouldn’t work. The other guy…
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Two nuns were driving down a country road when they ran out of gas. They walked to a farmhouse, and a farmer gave them some gasoline; but the only container he had was an old bedpan. The nuns were happy to take whatever they were offered and returned to their car. As they were pouring the gasoline from the bedpan into the tank of their car, a minister drove by. He stopped, rolled down his window and said, “Excuse me,…
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Just in case we need any additional proof that the “bozo index” is at all time highs (and going higher), consider these for-real label instructions on consumer goods: ************************************* On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that…
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There’s a new drug out for men that promises to grow hair..only problem is that it does have an unfortunate side effect…reduced libido.. So let’s see..Men take this drug to make themselves more attractive to chicks… They are faced with the age old problem..grow hair and be LIMPY..or remain bald and never be SHRIMPY… It boils down to a simple fact..Gentlemen…It’s HEADS or TAILS !!
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A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!” The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, “Yes I have a phone.” The driver of the Yugo says, “Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I’ve…
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One day, two rednecks named Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of Buds. The passenger, Bubba, said “Looky thar up ahead Earl, it’s a po-leese roadblock! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!” “Don’t worry Bubba,” Earl said. “We’ll just finish drinkin’ these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, then throw the bottles under the seat.” “What fer?” asked Bubba. “Just let me do the talkin’, okay?” said…
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A carpet layer had worked all day installing wall-to-wall carpeting. He noticed a lump under the carpet in the middle of the living room, he felt his shirt pocket for his cigarettes–they were gone. He was not about to pull the carpet back up, so he went outside for a two-by-four. Stamping down cigarettes with it would be easy. Once the lump was smoothed, the man gathered up his tools and carried them to his truck. Then two things happened…
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