Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two 8-year-old kids, 1 boy and 1 girl, decided to see which was faster in a race. They decided to run a best of three series to see who was faster. In the first race the boy won, and in the second race the boy won. “Why are boys so much faster than girls?” The girl asked. “I don’t know, let me ask my dad.” The boy replied. He went inside to ask his dad and his dad told him.…
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An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silverwalls which could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, “What is this, Father?” The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life; I don’t know what it is.” While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady…
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When Noah had his ark built he called all the animals together. When they had assembled he told all the males he would take away their privates. He said he couldn’t have them making love because it would risk them having children. In return he would give all the males a claim ticket and when they got off the would get their valuables back. So every day for the next 40 days, the rabbits were running in to their wives…
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1. Dogs love it when your friends come over. 2. Dogs don’t expect you to call when you’re running late. 3. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you. 4. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs. 5. Dogs don’t mind if you give their offspring away. 6. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor. 7. A dog’s parents never visit. 8. Dogs understand that instincts are better than…
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Chicken Anyone? Why did the chicken cross the road? Kindergarten Teacher: To get to the other side. Plato: For the greater good. Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was. Karl Marx: It was an historically inevitability. Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world…
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These are the nominees for the Chevy Nova Award. This is given out in honour of the GM’s fiasco in trying to market this car in Central and South America. “NO VA” means, of course, in Spanish, “it doesn’t go”. 1. The Dairy Association’s huge success with the campaign “Got Milk?” prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention that the Spanish translation read “Are you lactating?” 2. Coors put its slogan, “Turn It…
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A husband and his wife advertised for a live-in maid to cook and do the housework. A likely-looking girl came in from the country, and they hired her. She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept the house neat. One day, after about six months, she came in and said she would have to quit. “But why?” asked the disappointed wife. She hemmed and hawed and said she didn’t want to say, but the wife was…
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A man who lost his arms in Vietnam won a million dollars and immediately went to a doctor asking for their most advanced arms. The doctor told him that they had a brand new voice activated arm, but it costed one million dollars so he could only get one. The man agreed and got the arm. One day he goes to a bar to show off the arm to his buddies. He tells the arm to pick up his drink,…
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Two vampires wanted to go out to eat, but were having a little trouble deciding where to go. They were a little tired of the locals in Transylvania and wanted something a little more exotic. After some discussion, they decided to go to Italy. So off they went to Italy and ended up in Venice. On a bridge over one of the canals, they hid in the shadows and waited for dinner. A few minutes later, they noticed a young…
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Little Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. “Did you get that for your birthday?” he asked. “Nope,” Jimmy replied. “Well did you get it for Christmas then?” Little Johnny asked. “Nope.” “You didn’t steal it, did you?” “No,” said Jimmy. “I went into Mom and Dad’s bedroom the other night when they were ‘doing the nasty’. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me.”…
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