Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The lawyer is standing at the gate to Heaven and St. Peter is listing his sins: 1) Defending a large corporation in a pollution suit where he knew they were guilty. 2) Defending an obviously guilty murderer because the fee was high. 3) Overcharging fees to many clients. 4) Prosecuting an innocent woman because a scapegoat was needed in a controversial case. And the list goes on for quite awhile. The lawyer objects and begins to argue his case. He…
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There is this man sitting a the bar when the most beautiful woman he has ever seen walk in. So he pops two tic-tac and walks over to her. “Lets cut the small talk, so your place or mine?” he says She looks at him and replies “Mine.” So he gets into his car and she gets into her car and the go over to her place. When they get up to her apartment he walks in and sees all…
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One day a priest woke up and noticed that it was a beautiful day outside. He decides to go golfing. So he calls in and says he is sick and cannot come to work. To make sure nobody knows, he drives to a golf course about 2-3 hours away so he doesn’t meet anyone familiar. At that time, St. Peter is talking to God and he says, “You aren’t going to let him get away with this, are you?” “Oh,…
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December 14th Dearest John: I went to the door today and UPS was here with a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised. With dearest love and affection, Agnes December 15th Dearest John: Today, UPS brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves? I’m just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable. All my love, Agnes December 16th Dear John: Oh, aren’t you the extravagant one! Now…
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I got a new job down at the fishing supply store. I am a baiter. It takes about 3 months to become a senior baiter, and about a year to get a master’s certificate. What the hell, it’s better that being one of those jack-offs at Walmart.
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Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…
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Taoism: Shit Happens Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit Happens” Buddhism: If Shit Happens, it isn’t really Shit Zen (Rinzai): What is the sound of Shit Happening? Zen (Soto): Shit just Happens Hinduism: This Shit Happened before Sikhism: Leave our Shit alone Jainism: Don’t accidentally swallow flies and Shit Islam: If Shit Happens, it is the will of Allah Nation of Islam: Don’t take no Shit! Hare Krishna: Shit Happens, Shit Happens, Rama Rama *ding ding* Agnosticism: Does Shit Happen? Atheism: No…
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One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, “Hello ladies!”
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A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the “craziest” thing he had ever done in his life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child’s toy. Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island. Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost…
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An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. I started taking this new Viagra pill, and last night I had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. Both of them. Twice.” The priest said: “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?” “Never Father, I’m Jewish.” “So then, why are you telling me?” responded the priest. “Hell! I’m telling…
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