Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary DAY 752 – My captors continue to torment me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining some piece of their furniture. I fear I may be going insane. Yesterday, I ate a houseplant. Tomorrow I may eat another. DAY 761…
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A man took a new job as a bus driver and was given a bus with a Sesame Street advertisement on the side. At his first stop he picked up two fat Irish women who’s names both happened to be Pattie. At his next stop he picked up a man named Ross. This man felt highly of himself and insisted that everyone call him Special Ross. At the next stop was a biker who didn’t have a name, but he…
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In one of his autobiographical works, English author Augustus John Cuthbert Hare described the experience of a certain lady who awoke in the middle of the night with the sense that someone else was in her room. The sound of footsteps going to and fro across the room and the impression of hands moving over the bed terrified the poor lady so much that she fainted. Only when morning came was it discovered that the butler had walked in his…
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Two lesbians walk into a bar, and take a seat on a couple of barstools. After a moment, the bartender notices them, and comes over. “We’ll have a couple of 14 year-old’s,” says one of them. The bartender looks at them disgustedly, and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors to liquors.”
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It was lying limp in my hand. It was very long, kind of thin. I slid it between my fingers until I got to the end of it. It became firm in my hand. I was turning it on. The end was wet. Then it got very hard and began gushing out of the tip. So I took the garden hose and watered all my flowers. (Well, just what did you THINK I was talking about!)
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A man was driving across the Golden Gate Bridge when he was pulled over by an officer. The office comes up to the man’s window and says, “Excuse me, sir, but do you know how fast you were going?” The man replies, “Obviously over 55.” The officer was checking out the man and his car when he says, “What the hell is a bum looking guy like you doing driving a fancy, expensive car like this? What do you do…
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Princess Diana and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they’ll be admitted to heaven. Unfortunately, there’s only one space left for that day, so St.Peter asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why she should go to heaven, so she takes off her top and says, “Look at these. They’re the most perfect ones God ever created, and I’m sure it will please him to be able to…
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A man travels to Spain and goes to a Madrid restaurant for a late dinner. He orders the house special and he is brought a plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects. “What’s this?” he asks. “Cojones, se?or,” the waiter replies. “What are cojones?” the man asks. “Cojones,” the waiter explains, “are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon.” At first the man is disgusted, but being the adventurous type, he decides to…
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An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, “You”re in charge of sweeping.” To the Irishman, he says, “You”re in charge of shoveling.” And to the Chinese guy, “You”re in charge of supplies.” He then says, “Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you gusy to make a dent in that there pile.” So the…
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One hot day,two roadworkers are laying asphalt on a back country road when a United Nations limousine pulls up next to them,and an official-looking man gets out. He looks at both men and asks, “Parlez-vous francais?” The two men just look at him confused. He then asks, “Usted habla espanol?” Again,they just stare at him. “Sprechen Sie deutsch?”, he asks. No answer. “Parlate italiano?” Still, no reply. Disgusted,the man gets back into the limo,and it quickly drives away. One worker…
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