Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day dad decides to take his boy for a ride in the car, so they leave and as they are driving down the road, dad starts smoking a joint. The boy asks his father if he can have a hit and the dad asks, “Can your dick reach your ass?” and the boy says, “Well, no” and the dad says, “Alright then.” Little while later they stop in at a gas station and dad picks up a 6 pack…
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Name:Woman Symbol:WO Atomic weight:(Don’t go there) Physical Properties:Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled. Chemical properties:Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Also able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen. Usage:Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful…
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Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, “Yes, General, I’ll be seeing him this afternoon, and I’ll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, Sir.” Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enslisted man,…
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Just a line to say I’m living, That I’m not among the dead, Though I’m getting more forgetful And all mixed up inside my head. I got used to my arthritis, To my dentures, I’m resigned. I can manage my bifocals But, Dear God, I miss my mind. Sometimes I can’t remember When I’m at the foot of stairs If I must go up for something Or if I’ve just come down from there. And before the fridge so often,…
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Three ministers and their wives took a vacation together. On the way they were involved in a car crash which killed all six. Upon arriving at the gates of Heaven the first minister walked straight up to Peter and said, “I, my friend have dedicated my life to all that is good. Surely I can enter.” Peter explained, “You, my friend, had such a lust of money, that you would not marry untill you met your wife, Penny. You do…
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The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognise any animal’s skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other…
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A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!” The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!” The pastor said, “Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let’s have a word with him.” “Hi George. Say, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?” The greenskeeper replied, “Oh, yes,…
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your mom is so fat…she went to Sizzler’s and got a group discount. your mom is so fat…her belt size is equator. your mom is so fat…she was baptised in the pacific ocean. your mom is so stupid, she told me she tripped over a cordless phone. your mom is so old, she walked by an antiqe shop and they put a price tag on her. your mom is so old…she knew god. your mom is so fat, she sat…
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Not likely to find these cards at your local Hallmark store…. “Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.” “How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?” “I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.” “I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you.” “Looking back over the years that we’ve been…
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1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer. 2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player. 3. The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later. 4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars. 5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and…
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