Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF STAR WARS WAS SET IN GLASGOW? Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he’d only be about 5ft tall, from Blackhill and called Shug. He’d have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and invariably sport a Rangers top. Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as Chief or Big Yin by his cohorts. People trying to start a fight with him would addess him as Wanky-Nobby.…
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The Raiders Al Davis had finally put together the perfect Raiders team for ?98. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn?t find a ringer quarterback that would ensure a Super bowl win. Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly…
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ARIES You tend to be a headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don’t give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn’t care less. You’re the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding. TAURUS Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you’re bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss. GEMINI Your star sign denotes an air of duality in…
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One day at Sunday school, the teacher was asking the children where Jesus lives. The teacher called on one of the kids who replied, “Jesus lives in my heart.” “Very good.” said the teacher. She calls on another kid. “Jesus lives in Heaven.” “Very good,” said the teacher. Little Johnny is in the back of the room waving his hand to be called on. The teacher didn’t want to call on Johnny, but does anyway. “Jesus lives in the bathroom,”…
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The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognise any animal’s skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other…
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An old man was relaxing at his hundredth birthday party when a reporter went up to him. “Sir, what is the secret for your long life?” The man considered this for a moment, then replied, “Every day at 9 p.m. I have a glass of port. Good for the heart, I’ve heard.” The reporter replied, “That’s ALL?” The man smiled, “That, and canceling my voyage on the Titanic.”
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Customer: Waiter! There is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Don’t worry sir, the spider in the bread will get it. Customer: Waiter! There is a spider in my soup! Waiter: Don’t worry! The frog should surface any moment now. Customer:Waiter, There’s another fly in my soup. Waiter: Now, there is a fly that knows some good soup. But if you insist I will get you the fly swatter. Customer: What is the fly doing in my soup? Waiter: It…
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The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…
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A man will pay $2 for a $1 item that he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future … until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. To be happy with a man,…
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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day while the teacher had asked the kids whenever she gives a letter from A-Z use a word that starts with that letter then use it in a sentence. The teacher goes ahead with her lesson and Starts out with “A” well Johnny was the first one to raise his hand, but the teacher thinks to herself she had better not, because she knows how Johnny is. So instead she picks Sandra. Sandra…
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