Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can’t touch it till she’s fourteen. What’s the difference between a good ol’ boy and a redneck? The good ol’ boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved. How do you know when your staying in a Tennessee hotel? When you call the front desk and say, “I’ve gotta leak in my sink!” and the person at the front…
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Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”. He received a $26 million severance package. With a Little Help from Our Friends! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up… …And What Was…
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“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “Let’s take your car.” Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.” “Woman driver.” Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.” “I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”…
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After years of his wife’s pleading, the rich, good old boy finally went with her to her little local church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the preacher’s sermon that, on the way out, he stopped to shake his hand. He said, “Preacher, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!” The preacher replied, “Oh!! Why, thank you, Sir, but please, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t use profanity in the Lord’s house.” “I’m sorry, Reverend,…
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Hop Sing was a cook on the Ponderosa Ranch. All the cowboys loved to poke fun at him because, being Chinese, he had a pigtail and wore a funny hat. He also couldn’t speak English very well. The cowboys used to put live snakes and frogs in his bed and pulled on his pigtail, just to tease him. Hop Sing, however, never complained and kept on working. He was a good sport. One day, the cowboys got together and said:…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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Grandpa hears some banging noises on the side of the house. He looks out the window and sees his grandson with a hammer, driving some weird-colored nails into the side of the house. “Junior,what are you doing with those nails?” Junior looks up at Grandpa, and replies.”These aren’t nails, Granpa, they’re worms!” Sure enough, on closer look they are! “Where did you get those from, boy? Worms are supposed to be soft and squishy, NOT hard and firm like that!”…
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Mrs. Morris Siegel beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman’s, pointed to a white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said, “Hey, Sonny Boy, so how much is the dress on that store dummy over there?” “That dress is $899.95, Madam,” sneered the rather snotty salesman. “Oy! For $99.95, I could get the same dress at S. Klein’s downtown!” “But, Madam,” said the salesman, “You’ll find that the dress at Klein’s is recycled wool. This original is 100% pure…
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An obviously underage boy goes into a bar, climbs up onto a stool, and calls the barmaid. “Can I help you little boy?”, she asks. “I’d like a double shot of Jack Daniel’s,” he replies. She exclaims, “What do you want to do, get me into trouble?” “Sounds good to me,” he answers, “but how ’bout the fucking drink first?”
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Years ago I had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl. The head nurse brought them out for their father to see. He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her, and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue one. The father took one step forward, just so he could touch the babies and believe that they had finally arrived. As he started to touch them, the nurse…
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