Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: “Today, Gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good: Private Brabant will be setting the pace on our morning run.” With this, the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Brabant was overweight and terribly slow. But then the sergeant finished his statement: “Now for the bad news: Private Brabant will be driving a truck.”
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Once upon a time, a beautiful princess was seated on the shore of a pond near her castle. As she combed her golden tresses in the reflection of the pristine water, a frog hopped into her lap and spoke to her. “Dearest Princess, I was once a handsome prince with a thousand servants and riches beyond your imagination. One day a beggar woman transformed me into this frog that you see before you, for she was indeed a witch. But…
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My friend, George, an ex-Marine Aviator, wanted to show off his new twin-engine plane. I was riding along as he put it through its paces. Suddenly, we were caught in a violent thunderstorm, with lightening crashing all around us. We lost the radio and instrument capabilities. As we were being tossed around in the sky, George said, “DANG!!” Fearing the worst, I asked, “What’s wrong now?” George replied, “I got the hiccups. Do something to scare me.”
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All he asked for was a little goodnight kiss, but she haughtily rebuffed him with, “I don’t DO that sort of thing on my first date!” “Well,” he replied with dripping sarcasm, “how about on your LAST date?”
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The curator of one zoo was shipping several animals to another zoo, and wrote an accompanying letter which said in part, “Included are the two mongeese you asked for.” The curator paused. “Mongeese” looked funny. He tore up the letter and tried again, saying, “Included are the two mongooses you asked for.” That looked funny, too. After long thought, the curator began a third time and now completed it without trouble. He wrote in part, “Included is the mongoose you…
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Tony stops at his buddy Frank’s house on the way home from work. Frank’s wife Angela answers the door and says he’s not home yet but that Tony is welcome to come in and wait. She sits him down at the kitchen table so they can chat while she makes dinner. She notices Tony staring at her. “Why are you looking at me like that?” smiles Angela. “Angie, you got the greatest rack I ever saw,” says Tony. “I’ll give…
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After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the director reviewed the rescuer’s file and called him into his office. “Mr. James, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you’re ready to go home. I’m only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck.” “Oh, he didn’t kill himself,” Mr. James replied. “I hung him…
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An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife wanted to buy anything. “Well, my wife ain’t home. She’s gone down to the crick to wash clothes, but lemme see what you got,” said the man. The peddler showed him pots and pans, tools and gadgets, but the old man wasn’t interested. Then the…
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A butcher was about to close up shop one night when a dog walked in, carrying a paper bag in its mouth. The butcher tried to shoo the dog away, but it wouldn’t leave. Instead it set the bag down and barked at it. So the butcher looked inside of the bag, and found some money and a note. The note said: 1 lb Italian sausage 2 lbs Pork chops So the butcher filled the order, made change for the…
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Zsa Zsa Gabor once appeared on a television program in which guest celebrities attempted to solve viewers’ conjugal problems. The first question came from a young lady: “I’m breaking my engagement to a very wealthy man who has already given me a sable coat, diamonds, a stove and a Rolls Royce. What should I do?” “Give back the stove,” advised Zsa Zsa. (It was Zsa Zsa who once claimed to be a good housekeeper. After each divorce, she kept the…
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