Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Ron and Elaine had been married ten years, had no children, and were beginning to drift apart. Elaine told her mother one day that she thought her marriage was in trouble. “For God’s sake, Elaine”, said her mother, “you and Ron have to see a marriage counselor. Ron’s a wonderful guy, and you’ll never find anyone who’d be as good to you as he is.” So Elaine phoned her cousin Harriet, who’d been through marriage troubles herself, to get the…
(0)
Loading...
Support Cannibalism – EAT ME! 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it’s an amusement park. If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit. I wasn’t born a bastard. Women like you made me this way. Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either! Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?…
(0)Loading...
A Jewish man was rather upset because he thought that he had brought his son up right, taught him the faith, and given him a good childhood, but his son grew up and became a Christian. He took this problem to his Rabbi, and told him all about it. His Rabbi said, “Funny you should come to me about this. You see, I thought that I had brought up my son correctly. I taught him the faith, and sent him…
(0)Loading...
God created the mule and told him, “you are mule. You will work constantly from dawn to dusk, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years.” The mule answered, “To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 30.” And it was so. Then God created the dog and told him, “You are dog. You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of…
(0)Loading...
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. –Ernest Hemmingway Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. –Winston Churchill He was a wise man, who invented beer. –Plato Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. –Lady Astor to Winston Churchill Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. –Churchill’s reply When I read about…
(0)Loading...
IN THE BEGINNING In the beginning there was the computer. And God said %Let there be light! #Enter user id. %God #Enter password. %Omniscient #Password incorrect. Try again. %Omnipotent #Password incorrect. Try again. %Technocrat #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. %Let there be light! #Unrecognizable command. Try again. %Create light #Done %Run heaven and earth #And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors. #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday,…
(0)Loading...
Once there was a man who bought a guitar. He went down the street and played it for a dog, and the dog died. He walked further down the street and stopped to play for a cat, and the cat fell over and died. So the man hung up his guitar afraid that if he played it for himself he would die. About a week later he sees an ad in the paper that reads, ‘angry bull, reward for the…
(0)Loading...
During the minister’s prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Gary’s mother was horrified! She pinched him into silence, and after church asked: “Gary, whatever made you do such a thing?” Gary answered soberly: “I asked God to teach me to whistle . . . And He just then did!”
(0)Loading...
1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Memorize your favorite poem. 3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want. 4. When you say, “I love you,” mean it. 5. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye. 6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7. Believe in love at first sight. 8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. 9. Love deeply and…
(1)Loading...
Princess Diana and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they’ll be admitted to heaven. Unfortunately, there’s only one space left for that day, so St.Peter asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why she should go to heaven, so she takes off her top and says, “Look at these. They’re the most perfect ones God ever created, and I’m sure it will please him to be able to…
(1)Loading...