God god Jokes - page 33

Some funny blonde jokes

Q & A Q:How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? A:Tell him a joke on Thursday. Q:A blonde is going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? A:Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. Q:Why did God give blondes 2% more brains than horses? A:Because he didn’t want them shitting in the streets during parades. Q:Why can’t blondes make ice cubes? A:They always forget the…

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Read JokeSome funny blonde jokes

Bald Heads

A man who had the misfortune of being totally bald was naturally teased about it at times. A friend ran his hand over the bald head and said, “It feels just like my wife’s behind.” The bald man passed his own hand over his head and said, “My God, so it does!”

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Read JokeBald Heads

Elementary, my dear Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies…

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Wishing Snake

A cowboy was riding the range and as he rounded a bend in the road, his horse balked at a huge rattlesnake in the road. As he drew his colt and was ready to shoot, the snake yelled, “Stop..I am a charmed snake and if you don’t shoot me I’ll grant you three wishes.” Somewhat shaken, he holstered his revolver and said, “OK, let’s see what you can do”. The cowboy said, “I’ve been working really hard all my life,…

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Read JokeWishing Snake

The REAL Creation Story

Moses’ account of creation in the book of Genesis is so familiar and so entrenched in our cultural heritage, that many accept as actual historical fact, the assertion that Woman was created from one of Adam’s ribs. Science has railed against such simple beliefs for centuries. Last week at a dig in the escarpments along the western shore of the Dead Sea, archeologists uncovered ancient, original texts that predate Moses’ writings by 1,300 years. Translated, their account of life’s beginnings…

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Smart dog & the butcher

A butcher in his shop, and he’s real busy, and he notices a dog in the shop. He shoos him away. But later, he notices the dog is back again. So he goes over to the dog, and notices he has a note in his mouth. He takes the note and it reads, “I need 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. The dog has money in his mouth, as well.” The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold,…

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Second Chance

There were three dead men. One was an Italian, one was a millonaire, and one was gay. God told them they could have a second chance in life, if they could stay away from the things they love the most for one day. The guys said ok. “PUFF”– they were alive again. They were walking and all of a sudden the Italian guy smells Italian food, so goes ands eats the food. “PUFF” — he’s gone. Well the gay guy…

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Read JokeSecond Chance

ten yo mama jokes

1) your mama is soo ugly she made Freddy Kruger have nightmares. 2) your mama is so poor , she stole free chesse 3) your mama is soooo fat she sat on a cruve and made a driveway 4)your mama is soooo old , she left her purse in Noah’s ark 4)your mamas soo stupid, she returned a dounut because it had a hole in it 5) your mamas sooo fat , she went to class and sat next to…

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Read Joketen yo mama jokes