Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A very good-looking guy walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat. During the course of the evening he tries to chat up every single woman who walks into the bar, without any luck. Suddenly a really ugly man, and I mean R-E-A-L-L-Y ugly man, walks into the bar. He sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women. Very soon he walks out of the bar with the two of the most…
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For years and years they told me, “Be careful of your breasts. Don’t ever squeeze or bruise them And give them monthly tests.” So I heeded all their warnings And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully And always wore a bra. After 40 years of careful care, The doctor found a lump. He ordered up a mammogram To look inside that clump. “Stand up very close,” she said, As she got my breast in line. “And tell me…
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1.If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. 2.Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up, put it down. 3.Birthdays, Valentines and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present, again! 4.Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. 5.Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss the shotgun formation and monster trucks. 6.Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different, it’s just…
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Little Johnny and Jane are playing in the garden when they start having an argument about whether boys are better than girls. After a while Johnny stands up and pulls down his shorts saying, “Boys are better than girls ‘cos you haven”t got one of these!!” Jane looks at him in astonishment as she knows that she hasn’t got one of those between her legs. She bursts out crying and rushes inside to her mother. A little while later she…
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An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day passing an 8 year old girl’s house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can’t resist taunting the girl. He holds up his football and says, “See this football? Football is a boys’ game, and only boys can have a football.” The little girl runs into the house and cries to her mother, “I want a football.” Being a woman of the 90’s, her mother…
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* If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. * Learn to work the toilet seat. When the lid is up, put it down. * Birthdays, valentines, and anniversaries are not quests to find that perfect present….again. * If you ask a question you don’t want an answered, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. * Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. * Sunday sports — it’s like the full moon, or the…
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Rule #1: Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. Rule #2: If you don’t want to dress like Victoria’s Secret Girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys. Rule #3: If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way. Rule #4: It is neither in your…
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Three girls in college were all out at dates. One was a Brunette, another was a Red head and the last was a blonde. They returned at the same time and the Brunette said, “You know its a good date when your hair is messed up” The red head said “No, you know its a good date when your lip stick is all sumged” The blonde ripped off her panties and threw them against the wall where they stuck and…
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Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I am…
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I was driving through the autumn countryside with my city-born wife one day when she shouted, “Oh, look at all those ducks!” I said, “Those are geese, Honey.” To which she sharply replied, “Oh, you can’t tell if they’re boys or girls from here!”
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