Girl girl Jokes - page 37

What Men Really Mean

“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “Let’s take your car.” Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.” “Woman driver.” Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.” “I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”…

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Homeless Ransacker

An elderly gentleman came home one night to find a homeless girl of about eighteen ransacking the place. He grabbed her by the arm and was just about to call the police, when the girl dropped down on her knees and pleaded, “Please don’t call the police, Mister. Oh, please!!! If you don’t, I’ll let you make love to me and do whatever you want with my body!” The old man thought for a moment and decided to give in.…

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A Few Random Thoughts

If foreign films are so good, how come they don’t make them in this country? Definition of an optimist: an accordian player with a beeper. Old age is when you tell a friend you’re having an affair and he says, “That’s wonderful! Who’s the caterer?” Part of the trouble with doing nothing in life is that you never know when you’re through. Tractor pulls were invented so professional wrestling fans would have someone to look down on. Opieology: a religion…

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Five Short Ones About Kids

My grandson was telling me that he and his three playmates attended different churches. Then he added, “It really doesn’t matter if we go to different churches, does it, Grandma, as long as we’re all Republicans?” A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, “No, I’m the lonely child.” My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally…

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Show Me The Money And I’ll Show You …

In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic. Then, the young girl proposes, “If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs.” The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet. And then the girl pulls up her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she says, “If each of…

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Cannibal’s Q&A

Q: What did the notorious cannibal Hannibal Lecter do when he entered an “eat-all-you-can” restaurant? A: He had two waiters, one busboy and half a maitre’d. Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: He wiped his butt. Q: What did the cannibal say when he first saw a skating rink? A: “What do you know … People on the rocks!” Q: Why do cannibals avoid eating stand-up comedians? A: Because they taste funny. Q: Why…

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Elmer

Q: Do you know the difference between a wicker basket and a wicker box? A: The wicker basket you store stuff in and the wicker box is what elmer fudd does to his girlfriend

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Broom Factory

A young girl of thirteen went to work in a broom factory. After two months, she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go, since she was hardworking, knew her job and did it quite well. He called her into his office and said, “But why do you want to quit?” he asked. “Nothing, I just want to quit, that’s all,” she said sullenly. “Look, I’ll give you a raise,” he said. “No,”…

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Fun at the Airport

An American businessman and his wife had just arrived in Southeast Asia and were looking for a taxi outside the air terminal when they were approached by a pimp. “Hey, Boss,” he said, “I got lots beautiful girls. You want to try my girls?” “Get away from us” said the husband “before I call the cops.” “Oh,” said the pimp, “I got lots cute boys too, Maybe you like to try my boys.” “I want the American Ambassador!” demanded the…

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