Game Jokes - page 6

sex change

A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. During the game the guys notice the girl knew just as much about the game as themselves, and are really impressed. After the game they asked her, “How is it that you know so much about baseball?” She says, “Well, I used to be a guy and got a sex change.” The guys are amazed, but very curious about the process. “What was the most painful…

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Two Guys and a Donkey

There were two guys, Bob and Joe. Now Bob and Joe LOVED hockey, and they went to hockey games every weekend. And every Saturday after the games they searched the parking lot, not remembering where they parked their car. One day Bob decided he had a brilliant idea, and he was going to surprise Joe. That morning when he went to pick up Joe for the game, he was riding on a donkey. Joe looked at him with complete amazement…

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Quarterback Blitz

It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touchdown and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitor’s favor, the home quarterback finally blew his top. “How many times can you do this to us in a single game?” he screamed. “You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you…

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50 Fun Things to Do in a Mall

1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the fountain. 2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack. 4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. 5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream ‘MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!’ 6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD…

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Henry’s Dilemma

Henry and his over-developed wife were sitting in the stands waiting for the football game to begin. A friend walked over and said, “Hello Henry,” and gave Henry’s wife’s breast a little squeeze and walked away. A few minutes later another guy walked over and said, “Hello Henry,” then he too, fondled his wife’s breasts and walked on. This strange sequence of events went on for some time. Finally a man sitting next to Henry spoke up, “Listen pal, It’s…

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Football Math

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we really need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play.” The player agreed, so the coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, “Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer…

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Driving through the Cities….

How to Identify Where a Driver is From One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York. One hand on wheel, one finger and head out the window — cursing, cutting across all lanes of traffic: Philly One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in…

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The Slow Golfers!!!

A foursome goes out on the course, only to find themselves waiting on every hole for the most inept golfers they’ve ever seen, who are playing in front of them. After a few holes, they start yelling at the klutzes, but that doesn’t seem to speed their game up. By the time they’ve finished their round, they’re so pissed off that they go straight to the golf pro to complain. “Guys,” he tells them, “those fellas you’ve been screaming at…

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Golfer’s Distraction

Two friends had arranged a round of golf and were now on the first tee, preparing to start their game at 7 a.m. Just as the first golfer was half way up his back swing, a good-looking young lady ran across the course about 10 yards in front of him, peeling off her clothes as she went, until she was totally naked. As she disappeared into the woods, he turned, dazed, to his companion, “What was THAT about?!!!” “Take no…

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Best Emergency Room Stories

Believe Them…Or Not AUGUSTA, ME – Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and,…

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