Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Top 10 houses that you should avoid during trick-or-treating: 10. Any house that seems to be imploding into a space-time wormhole. 9. Any house made of food. 8. Any house whose only entrance goes to the basement. 7. Any house where the high tension wires suddenly stop right above it. 6. Any house that has ornamental lawn hyenas. 5. Any house that growls “get out.” 4. Any house where the furniture seems to be walking across the living room floor.…
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Hillary Clinton is not feeling well. She goes to her doctor and gets a complete physical, only to discover that she is pregnant. She is furious and can’t believe this has happened, when she is running for the Senate, too!!! She calls the White House and gets Bill on the phone and immediately begins to berate him, screaming, “I just found out I’m 5 weeks PREGNANT, and it is all YOUR fault!!! How could you have let this HAPPEN? With…
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1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving a baby a bottle. Coo confidently, “That’s a nice kitty.” Drop the pill in its mouth. 2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp & pill from under sofa. 3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cats front paws down with left hand & back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its mouth with right forefinger.…
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EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATION Employee Name _______________ Date of Review __________________ KNOWLEDGE: 1.____ The son-of-a-bitch really knows his shit 2.____ Knows only enough to be dangerous 3.____ Only has half a brain and is dangerous 4.____ Fucking brain damaged. His coffee cup has a higher I.Q. ACCURACY: 1.____ Does excellent work; is not preoccupied with pussy 2.____ Pretty good; only occasionally blows it out his ass 3.____ Has to take his shoes off to count higher than ten 4.____ Couldn’t count…
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Men, the next time you go to the public toilets, you may observe one of the following types of vistors: Excitable Type: Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger. Sociable Type: Joins pals for a piss whether he wants one or not. Timid Type: Cannot pee if anyone is watching, pretends he has been and sneaks back later. Nosy Type: Peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow’s tool. Indifferent Type: All urinals being…
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Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. The average secretary’s left hand does 56% of the typing. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. There are more chickens than people in the world. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in…
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During World War II, Private Goldstein was anxious to get married before going overseas, but he was stationed in a small town in South Carolina and couldn’t get a furlough. His fiancee, Becky, was perfectly willing to come to South Carolina, and did so; but once there, a difficult problem arose. Becky was a pious girl and insisted on being married by an Orthodox Jewish rabbi. In the small town where Goldstein was stationed, however, there were no Jews, let…
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An 85 year old man marries a lovely 25 year old woman. Because her new husband is so old the woman decides that on their wedding night they should have separate suites. She is concerned that the old fellow could overexert himself. After the festivities she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the door she is expecting. Sure enough the knock comes and there is her groom ready for action. They unite in conjugal union and all…
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A panda is walking down the Main Street when he is approached by a “Lady of the Night”. She says, “Hello darling, would you like a nice time?” The Panda says, “Um, yes why not?” So they both go back to the lady’s apartment. She makes a fabulous dinner, with every dish imaginable, provides drinks, plays good music. The inevitable happens. They go to bed and have a really great night. In the morning the Panda gets up, has a…
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“This is to hep yu’all who don’t have the plesur of livin in the sunny South, which is sometimes covered in ice! Those who do, will wunder why these wus ever wrote down in the furst place.” Sayings in the South: “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.” “Have a cup of coffee, it’s already ‘saucered and blowed.” “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.” “My…
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