Fun fun fun Jokes - page 32

Y2K Solution

The IS department has defined a lower cost alternative for Desktop conversions that also addresses the Y2K (Year 2000) issue. The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by Jan, 1999. Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are many sound reasons for doing this: 1. No Y2K problems 2. No technical glitches, keeping work from being done. 3. No more wasted time reading and writing emails. 4. Substantial hardware cost savings. Frequently Asked Questions from…

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The Plural of Mongoose

The curator of one zoo was shipping several animals to another zoo, and wrote an accompanying letter which said in part, “Included are the two mongeese you asked for.” The curator paused. “Mongeese” looked funny. He tore up the letter and tried again, saying, “Included are the two mongooses you asked for.” That looked funny, too. After long thought, the curator began a third time and now completed it without trouble. He wrote in part, “Included is the mongoose you…

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Thoughts to ponder

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn’t live there. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? (Jared: what do you think?) Whatever happened to preparations A through G? If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? I went…

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Read JokeThoughts to ponder

Marriage

1. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always. 2. It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer. 3. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. 4. A man was complaining to a friend: “I had it all – money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; Then, Pow! it was all gone!” “What happened?” asked the…

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The Bill of No Rights

The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County GA: We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional, and other liberal,…

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College life

This guy goes to college and after a few months writes his dad a letter: Dear dad, I’m having lots of fun, I have a girlfriend. Could you please send me some money? Johnny Well, after a couple of years, he just writes: No mon’, No fun, Yo son And his dad replied to this letter as so: Too bad, So sad, Yo dad!

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From the BUTTS of Babes…….

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? I hope you remember my story when they start getting frustrated. My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven month…

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Read JokeFrom the BUTTS of Babes…….

Revenge is sweet

In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone who occasionally has a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone: I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a telephone call that I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and may I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on…

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Read JokeRevenge is sweet

McDonalds

A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: “They don’t serve BEER here, you MORON!” The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly turns to the New Yorker with a surprised look, and begins to chuckle. “And what’s so funny?” the New Yorker demands. “Oh, nothing really, I…

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A Visit To McDonalds

A father and son were out having fun at the park. When the son told his father that he was hungry. The father said to his son, “How about McDonalds?” The son agreed. They were standing in line. In front of them stood a very big obese woman. The father and son were talking about the day’s events when all of a sudden the big obese woman’s beeper went off. Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep. The son at maximum volume…

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Read JokeA Visit To McDonalds