Fun fun fun Jokes - page 24

Easter!

The Easter bunny came to my house today. Well he didn’t come inside, but rather, he hopped around my yard for a while. Really he didn’t hop, it was more like he walked around the yard. I was quite surprised by his appearance. In fact he didn’t look much like I always thought he would. He was furry and brown; he also walked on four legs and had large teeth. I was really excited when he began hiding chocolate eggs…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeEaster!

Nut Store

A guy with a lisp walks into a nut store. The clerk is a very large man with a very, very large nose. The guy with the lisp asks how much the peanuts are. The clerk replies, “The peanuts are a $1.39.” The guy with the lisp says, “Too high, too high.” “How much are your walnuts, sir?” The clerk replies, “The walnuts are $1.49.” The guy with the lisp replies, “Too high, too high.” “I guess I’ll go to…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeNut Store

If Men Ruled the World……

Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a timeout. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time” would pretty much do it. The…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeIf Men Ruled the World……

Interesting Facts (again)

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps outward to squirt blood 30 feet. A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (Lucky Pig!) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig thing!) Humans, whales and dolphins are the only species that have sex for…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeInteresting Facts (again)

How Sex is Like Riding a Bicycle

1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere. 2. It’s best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory. 3. You can do it with no hands, but it’s best not to try it until you have a lot of experience. 4. It’s easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience. 5. You can do it by yourself, but it’s usually not as much fun. 6. It’s usually hard…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHow Sex is Like Riding a Bicycle

Flied Lice

A Greek gentleman, eating in a Chinese restaurant, ordered fried rice, and the waiter, smiling and courteous, said, “Ah, yes, flied lice.” This struck the diner as excruciatingly funny and he ordered fried rice whenever he came in just to hear the waiter say, “flied lice”—-at which he would laugh heartily. He took to bringing in friends so that they might her this, too, and little by little the waiter realized he was a source of fun and mockery. Well,…

(5)Loading...

Read JokeFlied Lice

Mergers

With corporate mergers in the news these days, here are a few that might be fun. Xerox and Wurlitzer: To make reproductive organs. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: The merged company will be called Fairwell, Honeychild Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Keebler: Will be renamed Poly Warner Cracker W.R Grace Co., Fuller Brush, Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: Hale Mary, Fuller Grace 3M and Goodyear: Will be called MMMGood John Deere and Abitibi-Price: Will be Deere Abi Honeywell,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeMergers

Gone Fishin’

A bellhop at a really nice resort takes a young couple up to the bridal suite, and drops off all their luggage. A short while later, he sees the groom heading out of the lobby, wearing waders and carrying a fishing rod and a tackle box. He is a little puzzled, so he goes over to the groom and says, “Excuse me sir, but shouldn’t you be upstairs making love to your wife?” The groom replies, “Well, I would, but…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeGone Fishin’