Fun fun fun Jokes - page 23

Men vs. Women Perspective

HER STORY: He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been because I was a bit late but he didn’t say anything much about it. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. So we went to this restaurant and he’s STILL acting a bit funny and I’m trying to cheer him up and start to wonder…

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Quality time with the family

There was this family of 3 brothers named Somebody, Nobody, Everybody, and their cousin Crazy. One night the four boys wanted to go out drinking at a bar. They all drank beer and were having fun. Everybody and Crazy had decided that they had all they wanted to drink. On the other hand, Somebody and Nobody still wanted to drink even though they were already drunk. As they continued to drink they started to say bad things to one another…

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C.A.T.S.

* Missing your cat? Try looking under my tires. * I love cats … dead ones * I love cats … they taste just like chicken * Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit. * So many recipes, so few cats. * Cats… the other white meat. * The gene pool could use a little chlorine. * I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. * Save a mouse… Eat…

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Lawyers

In a bar, men were drinking and having fun!! A man jumps up and yells out “all lawyers are Assholes”!!! Another man jumps up and says “I resent that” “why” asks the first man “are you a lawyer”? “No” replied the man “I am an Asshole”!!

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Last Words

Ol’ Fred had been a religious man who was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol’ Fred’s condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol’ Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not…

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Who Wears the Pants in the Family?

This guy came home to his wife one evening after working all day and began ordering her around. To his surprise the wife interrupted him by saying that she was tired and had a rough day herself. He looked at her in funny way and began unbuttoning his pants. She just stood there in a curious manner. “Here,” he said, “put these pants on.” “These will never fit me,” she said. “I could get two people in these.” Without hesitation…

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Eight Times Married

Two women were attending the funeral of a friend who had been married eight times. One sighed and said, “They’re together at last.” “Which husband are you talking about?” the other asked. “None of her husbands. I mean her legs.”

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The Mule

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of their place. The farmer had tried to be nice to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly relationship. But, she kept nagging at them whenever she got the chance, making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing…

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IRAQI TV GUIDE

MONDAY 8:00 Husseinfeld 8:30 Mad About Everything 9:00 Suddenly Sanctions 9:30 Allah McBeal TUESDAY 8:00 Wheel of MisFortune and Terror 8:30 The Price is Right if Saddam Says its Right 9:00 Children are Forbidden to Say The Darndest Things 9:30 Iraq’s Funniest Public Execution Bloopers WEDNESDAY 8:00 Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer 8:30 Diagnosis: Heresy 9:00 Just Shoot Me 9:30 Veilwatch THURSDAY 8:00 Mahatma Loves Chachi 8:30 M*U*S*T*A*S*H 9:00 Veronica’s Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses 9:30 My…

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