Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Dear Abby, I’ve been going out with this girl for a couple of weeks now, I really like her and want to take the relationship to the next level. I have one problem though. On our first date she told me she was sick, but I can’t remember if she said she had TB or VD. What should I do? – Lovelorn, Portland, OR Dear Lovelorn: If she coughs, fuck her.
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One evening, Charlie was feeling pretty light-headed from a couple of boilermakers when he rang the bell of the most expensive cat-house in town. “How ya doin’”, he said when the madam answered the door. “I want your mos’ adventurous girl.” The madam ushered him inside and sat him down. “You have to be a little more specific”, she said. “What do you mean by ‘adventurous’?” “Well when I’ve had a couple a lil drinks, sometimes I have a tough…
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Who makes more money, a prostitute or a drug dealer? A prostitute, they can clean their crack and sell it again ******************************** What do bungee jumping and a prostitute have in common? They’re both cheap, they last only a few seconds, and if the rubber band breaks, you’re dead. ******************************** How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? The joystick is wet. ******************************** What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant? Her feet…
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Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, “Honey, my hands are freezing!” She says, “Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up.” After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, “Man! My hands are really freezing!” She says again, “Well put them…
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A midget sidles up to a tall blonde and says, “Hey, what do you say to a little fuck?” She says, “Hello, you Little Fuck.”
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In 1928 Colonel John Rotherhampton arrives in Central Africa to take over command of the King’s African Rifles from retiring Lt. Colonel Peter Defries. The retiring CO is very pleased to meet his successor and over a cup of tea at the regimental mess is most enthusiastic about the regiment’s adjutant, Captain Harry S Smithers. The old CO so extols the virtues and soldierly prowess of Capt. Smithers that the new CO decides that he must simply meet this man.…
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A man had a big dance comming up but the problem was he didn’t know how to dance. So he went to a dance studio. The instructor told him to pretend that there is a 10 cent piece on his right shoulder and that he must try to touch the coin with his earlobe in time to the music. So the guy went home and practiced this all week long. The next week the instructor told him to do the…
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I glanced under the seat of the aircraft I was on and saw a life jacket, and thought, “Fuck me, the ferries must have the parachutes!”
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A deeply religous and wealthy man visited the Vatican and was standing by the road when the Pope came by in the Popemobile. The Pope looks over to him, stops the car, gets out and walks directly towards him, filling the man with joyousness. However, as he reached him, the Pope steps to one side and whispers in the ear of a tramp sitting behind the man. Seeing this, the wealthy man is a bit miffed but an idea forms…
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Little Timmy went to his grandparent?s house to visit for the weekend. Little Timmy went outside to find his grandpa smoking a cigar on the porch. The boy asked, ?Can I have a cigar?? The Grandpa replied ?does your dick touch your ass?? The boy answered ?No.? so the Grandpa said, ?Well then you can?t have a cigar!? Later that day, Little Timmy went and found his Grandpa drinking a beer? the boy asked, ?Can I have a beer?? The…
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