Fly Jokes - page 8

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung…

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A health inspector walks up to a hot dog stand and orders a hot dog. The vendor grabs a hot dog with his dirty hands, slaps it in a bun and gives it to the inspector. The inspector says “This is a recipe for disease. I’m a health inspector and am closing you down. You have 3 weeks to get your act together.” The health inspector returns in 3 weeks and orders another hot dog. The vendor uses clean tongs…

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The owner of a small travel agency saw an attractive couple gazing at his travel posters. Suddenly inspired, he ran up and told them his idea. “I’ll give you an all-expenses-paid vacation in exchange for appearing in ads endorsing my agency.” They agreed on the spot. Three weeks later he met them at the airport. While the man checked on their baggage, the travel agent asked the woman about the trip. “The food on the cruise ship was wonderful,” she…

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A Colonel, a General, and an Admiral were discussing which military branch had the most balls. The Colonel took the General and Admiral to one of his Air Force bases and told one of the airmen there to jump from a flying plane at 30,000 feet. With a quick salute, the airman did as he was told. He went up in the plane and jumped without a parachute at 30,000 feet and splattered all over the place. The Colonel said…

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If your goal in life is to do as little as possible, and you get away with that…does that make you successful? If love is blind and marriage is an institution, does that mean that marriage is an institution for the blind? If you can buy more memory for your computer…why can’t people? What does an imperfect stranger look like? The term “free gift” never made sense to me…has anybody ever said to you…”I bought you a gift, now that…

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There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day, when he happened on a pile of fresh cow manure. Due to the fact that it had been hours since his last meal, he flew down and began to eat. He ate and ate and ate. Finally, he decided he had eaten enough and tried to fly away. He had eaten too much though, and could not get off the ground. As he looked around wondering what to do, he…

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