First lady Jokes - page 6

3 Babies

There were 3 babies in a lady’s stomach. One day, they were talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up. The first baby said, “I want to be an plumber when I grow up.” The other two asked why. He said, “Someone has to fix all the leaky pipes in here.” The second baby said, “I want to be an electrician.” The other two started laughing, and asked why. He said, “It’s kinda dark in here. Someone…

(0)
Loading...

Read Joke3 Babies

More Questions to Ponder

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon? What do chickens think we taste like? What do people in China call their good plates? What do you call a male ladybug? What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeMore Questions to Ponder

Student Bloopers: The World According to………..

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeStudent Bloopers: The World According to………..

The Dating Game

There were 3 men in a bar talking about picking up women. One was very apprehensive about approaching women. One of the other men says, “It’s not that hard, watch me.” He walks up to a lady and says, “Your place or mine?” She says, “Mine,” and they leave. The second guys turns to the apprehensive one and says, “See that wasn’t too hard, now watch me.” So, he walks up to a lady and says, “Your place or mine?”…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Dating Game

The Rock

One day, a well-to-do lady was walking home and met an old beggar on the street. “Madame,” said the beggar, leaning over to pick up a rock from the side of the road, “I will eat this rock for your enjoyment.” Well, the lady had never seen a man eat a rock before, so she agreed. “First,” said the man, “I will need to cook it.” The lady agreed and took the man to her home, where she showed him…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Rock

The Stewardess

The Jumbo 747 had just reached cruising altitude on the flight from New York to Los Angeles when stewardess Cathy Moran brought the Captain and the Co-pilot hot cups of fresh coffee. “Thanks, gorgeous”, winked Captain Prescott. “You come up here and sit with me any time you want.” Cathy Moran was not flattered by his flirtations but she smiled and withdrew to resume her passenger duties. “Ladies and Gentlemen,” announced the pilot over the P.A. “This is your Captain…

(4)Loading...

Read JokeThe Stewardess

A Sweed in Chinatown

I was in Chinatown just the other day; walking around trying to find an ATM. Needless to say, I was utterly lost and all those signs around me in foreign languages were of no help. On top of everything, I was hurrying to escape the suffocating, foreign odors emanating from the numerous restaurants and alleys. I turned a corner hoping to catch a breath of fresh air when my eyes sighted a store sign that read “Hans Olafsen Laundry.” How…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeA Sweed in Chinatown

The Classifieds

(Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers) Illiterate? Write today for free help. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. Stock up and save. Limit: one. Semi-Annual…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Classifieds

Revenge is sweet

In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone who occasionally has a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone: I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a telephone call that I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and may I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeRevenge is sweet

The Farrell Twins

Darryll and Darren were identical twin boys who lived in a fishing village off the coast of Maine. Darryll Farrell was married and Darren Farrell was single. Together they both owned a small, dilapidated boat. It happened that the same day Darryll’s wife died, Darren’s boat sank. Such is the karma of twins. A kind old lady met Darren on the street and mistaking him for his brother Darryll, said: “Oh, Mr. Farrell, I’m sorry to hear of your great…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Farrell Twins