Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN: “Members of Congress…people of America…I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven’t been paying attention. The only babes in D.C. I haven’t tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, Albright, and Shalala, mostly because they’re a little older than I like and they…
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My father was in the fertilised egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilise the eggs. My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn’t perform well went into the pot and was replaced. Now this took an awful lot of time. So when my uncle saw a set of eight tiny bells that each rang a different tone he promptly bought…
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Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make their announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…” “We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wings.” “Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person…
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This young man was going golfing one day, but he wasn’t very good. He had been hitting the ball in the rough, the water, and soon a sand trap. By the time he hit the sand trap he was very annoyed. So he stood there swinging at the ball but missing and in the process digging a hole. Soon he hit something hard (not the golf ball). He bent over and dug it up to see what it was. When…
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Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”. He received a $26 million severance package. With a Little Help from Our Friends! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up… …And What Was…
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A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?” Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.” “That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?” Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.” “Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?” Billy proudly stood up & announced, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.”…
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Once upon a time three nuns died and went to heaven. It was very bright and beautiful. They met St. Peter at the front gate. He said, “The only way you can get into heaven is if you answer three questions. One question for each of you.” The three nuns agreed. St. Peter began to the first nun, “What was the Immaculate conception?” “Why, it’s Mary being told that Jesus was going to be born, St. Peter,” said the first…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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When creating email addresses, many colleges and businesses tend to strip the last name down to 6 characters and add the first and middle initial to either the beginning or end. For example, Mary L. Ferguson = mlfergus or fergusml. They are just now beginning to realize the problems that may occur when there is a large and diverse pool of accounts. Add to that a large database of company/college acronyms and you have some very funny addresses. TOP TEN…
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There is a blind man on his way to Texas for the first time. He is on the airplane, and he is in First Class. He goes to his seat, and feels them, they are huge. He asks the stewardess, “Aren’t these seats kinda’ big?” She replies, “Oh, everything’s bigger in Texas.” Then he gets to Texas, and he goes to his room. He walks, and walks and didn’t hit the wall for a few minutes, and he was walking…
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