Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
To realize the value of ONE YEAR Ask a student who has failed his exam. To realize the value of ONE MONTH Ask a mother who has given birth to a pre-mature baby. To realize the value of ONE WEEK Ask an editor of a weekly. To realize the value of ONE DAY Ask a daily wage laborer. To realize the value of ONE HOUR Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet. To realize the value of ONE MINUTE…
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Even though I was an engineering student at the University of Maryland, chemistry was a required course in my day. The Professor, on the first day of class, asked everyone to name the most outstanding contribution chemistry had made to society. When my turn came, I answered, “Blondes!”
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Three guys were arguing over which profession was established first. The surgeon said, “The Bible says Eve was made by carving a rib out of Adam–that makes mine the oldest job.” The engineer replied, “In six days the Earth was created of chaos–an engineer’s job.” “Yes, but who created the chaos?” asked the politician.
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A true story from Associated Press, by Kurt Westervelt. At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, the president, Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story: On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten story building intending to commit…
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Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks one of the three lawyers. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers one of the engineers. They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the…
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In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court. At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver quite ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he’d done it. The court believed his story, and the…
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Three men – an Engineer, an Artist and Bill Clinton – go on safari when a huge elephant ambles out of the bush. The Engineer looks at the animal and thinks: “What a powerful beast, if only my employees could come up with something as efficient as that”. The Artist thinks: “If only we could catch him, we could make lots of beautiful things with his hide.” And Bill Clinton thinks: “I wonder what the elephant thinks of me!”
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Four doctors who hadn?t seen each other since their surgical residencies met at a medical seminar. Adjourning for dinner and drinks, they turned their conversation to who makes the best surgical patients: The first said, for sure, electrical engineers. ?You open ?em up,? he contended, ?and everything is color-coded.? ?Nah,? said the second. ?It?s librarians. You open ?em up and everything is alphabetized.? The third scoffed. ?Of course not,? he said. ?It?s accountants. You open ?em up and everything is…
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A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, “I’ll have a C monkey please.” The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, “That’ll be $5000.” The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist…
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The graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?” The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?” The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?” The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”
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