Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A small company was on the edge of bankruptcy. The owner summoned his two-man sales force into his office. “Things aren’t going too well, guys,” he announced grimly. “So to perk up sales I’m announcing a contest. The guy with the most sales gets a blow job.” “What does the loser get?” asked one of the salesmen. The owner looked at both men and said, “The loser gets to give it.”
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A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which he was most at ease. “Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?” “Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.” “What sort of question?” “Well, you might ask him,…
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Hershel Ostropolier (a Jewish wit of the 17th century) is walking home one Friday afternoon, taking a shortcut through the forest. A bandit, brandishing a pistol, jumps out and says, “Give me your money or I’ll shoot you dead!” Hershel pleads with the man, “My wife will never believe that I’ve been robbed. She’ll think I just spent the money in a tavern. She’ll kill me if you don’t!” The robber replies, “That’s no difference to me. Give me your…
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Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m bottomless.” With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling, “Momma needs a new pair of pants!” She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. “YES!…
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“All right, you bastards, fall in — on the double!” barked the sergeant, as he strode into the barracks. Each soldier grabbed his hat and jumped to his feet, except one — a private who lay in his bunk, reading a book. “WELL?” roared the sergeant. “Well,” observed the private, “there certainly were a lot of them, weren’t there?”
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Elizabeth Taylor walks into her plastic surgeons office one day and says to him, ?Over the years I have had my boobs done, my butt done and my face done. Now I would like to have down below done.? So her doctor says, ?sure, that?s no problem.? Elizabeth replies ? but there?s just one thing…I ask of you and that is to keep this a secret from everyone. I am tired of the press and the public knowing about every…
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Three Irishmen arrive at the local pet store in county Armagh and buy all the parrots and all the budgerigars in the shop. They stuff the birds into a bag and declare to the shop owner that they are off for an outdoor adventure. The shop owner is a bit concerned about why the three men would want so many parrots and budgees, so he waits until they are gone and follows them in his car. The Irishmen drive to…
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A man goes to the doctor and says: Doc, you have to help me. Sometimes I wake up and feel like Mickey Mouse, sometimes I wake up and feel goofy. The doc asks: How long have you had these Disney spells?
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There is nothing the matter with me. I’m as healthy as I can be. I have arthritis in both of my knees And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze. My pulse is weak, and my blood is thin. But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in. Arch supports I have for my feet Or I wouldn’t be able to be on the street. Sleep is denied me night after night, But every morning, I find I’m all…
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A man from Arkansas and a man from New York bought a business together in Little Rock. The guy from Arkansas had an apartment across the street from the store, but the guy from NY lived out of town. The fellows had bought a new flashing neon sign, which they turned off each night at midnight when they closed their business, in order to save money. One morning around 1 a.m., the NY fellow called his partner from Arkansas and…
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