Taste of Eighty
Q: What does an eighty-year old woman taste like? A: “Depends”
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Q: What does an eighty-year old woman taste like? A: “Depends”
An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, ?Oh oh!? The old geezer asked the doctor what the problem was. ?Well,? said the doc, ?you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?? ?No,? replied the man. ?Do you drink in excess? ?No,? replied the man. ?Do you have a sex life?? ?Yes, of course I do!? exclaimed the man. ?Well,? explained the doc, ?I?m afraid…
Well, move over, weighty biographies and profound philosophical treatises! The prestigious Baillie Gifford prize has unveiled a shortlist that reads less like a literary award and more like the guest list for the world’s most interesting (and slightly unhinged) dinner party. ? We’re talking ‘horny wolves, eunuchs, and pirates’ all vying for top nonfiction honors. Apparently, authors like Helen Garner and Richard Holmes are at the forefront of this wild ride, with their nonfiction books not only exploring these… diverse…
On one spring day there was this eighty-five year old man and eighty year old woman who had just gotten married. On their way to their honeymoon the old man looks at his new bride and thinks to himself, after all these years he is finally going to get laid again. When they finally arrive at the hotel the old couple starts to unpack. At that time the wife decides to go the bathroom to freshen up. While she is…
Three old men in a convalescent hospital are shooting the breeze when the seventy-year-old one exclaims: “You know, if I had just one wish, I’d wish that I could take a nice long piss.” The eighty-year-old man said: “Well, I only wish that I could take a nice long shit.” The ninety-year old man replies: “Boys, every morning at 7:00 a.m. sharp, I take a nice long piss, then every morning at 9:00a.m. sharp, I take a nice long shit.…
The eighty-eight-year-old millionaire married an eighteen-year- old country girl. He was quite content, but after a few weeks she told him that she was going to leave him if she didn’t get some loving real soon. He had his chauffeured limousine take him to a high-priced specialist who studied him and then gave him a shot of spermatozoa. “Now look,” the doctor said, “the only way you’re going to get it up is to say “beep,” and then to get…
Tips For Yankees 1.) Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it. 2.) If you forget a Southerner’s name, refer to him (or her) as Bubba. You have a 50% of being right. 3.) Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows. 4.) If you do run your car in a ditch, don’t panic. Four men…
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now, he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. “I need someone with an accounting degree,” the man said. “But mainly, I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me.” “Excuse me?” the accountant said. “I worry about a lot of things,” the man said. “But I don’t want to have to worry…
This old man of eighty years goes to the doctor and says, “You know, doc, when I was twenty and got a hard on I could push on it with both hands and I couldn’t even bend it… When I was thirty and got a hard on I could push on it with both hands and I could just barely bend it…. Now that I’m eighty and occasionally I get hard I can push on it with only one hand…
This old man in his eighty’s got up and was putting on his coat. His wife say, “Where are you going?” He replies, “I’m going to the doctor.” She says, “Why, are you sick?” “No” he responds, “I’m going to get me some of those new Viagra pills.” So his wife gets up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater and he says, “Where are you going?” She says, “I’m going to the doctor too!” “Why?” he…