Wife or Terrorist?
Q. What is the difference between dealing with your wife and dealing with a terrorist? A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.
(0)
Loading...
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Ego Jokes - page 3
The Top 14 Unpublished Beatles Songs
14. Got to Get You Off of My Wife 13. She Came In Through John’s Fragile Ego 12. She’s a Woman (Who Was a Man) 11. Can’t Buy Me Love (But Can Rent It by the Hour for 300 Big Ones) 10. Polyurethane Pam Anderson 9. Crackbird 8. Lucy In The Sky With Linus 7. Eleanor Furby 6. All You Need is Drugs 5. Nor-Region Woody 4. She Came in Through the White House Window 3. While My Guitar Gently…
(0)Loading...
Things Learned From Children
Things Learned from Children For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, think of this as birth control. 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house, 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3.…
(0)Loading...
Grammatical Uses of the ‘F’ Word
Grammatical Uses of the Word Fuck Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word “FUCK.” It is the one magical word, which, just by it’s sound can describe Pain, Pleasure, Love and Hate. In language, “FUCK” falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (John really gives a fuck)…
(0)Loading...
Compromising Positions
This celebrity is taking a shower. He has made it known to the public that he is celibate, and is firm on that fact. Even so, he occasionally feels the need to “release some built up tension”, and this is one of these occasions. Just as he is finishing with himself, he sees a photographer, who has captured the whole episode on film. “Hold on a minute” he says. “You can’t do that. You’ll destroy my reputation. I’ll be a…
(0)Loading...
The Silent Air Trip
A man and his wife always loved to go on the helicopter rides at the carnival, but they didn’t like the $10.00 per ride. So the man started negotiating with the pilot. Finally, the pilot agreed to let them fly for free ONLY if they could last the entire flight without making a single sound. So the helicopter took off. The pilot tried swerving and sudden stops, even 360 spins, but the whole time, he didn’t hear a peep out…
(0)Loading...
Game Warden
A game warden came upon a duck hunter who had bagged 3 ducks and decided to “enforce the laws pending.” He stopped the hunter, flashed his badge and said, “Looks like you’ve had a pretty good day. Mind if I inspect your kill?” The hunter shrugged and handed the ducks to the warden. The warden took one of the ducks, inserted his finger into the duck’s rectum, pulled it out, sniffed it, and said, “This here’s a Washington state duck.…
(0)Loading...
Bush in Office
December 30, 2004/Washington, D.C.(Associated Press) After four years of legal wrangling, George W. Bush was finally declared the winner of the 2000 Presidential Election yesterday. Bush, a Republican, will take the oath of office at noon today and serves until January 20, 2005, a term of about three weeks. Then he gives way to the undisputed winner of the 2004 Presidential Election, New York Senator Hillary Rodham Greenspan (formerly Clinton). Facing a drastically shortened presidency, Bush attempted to strike an…
(0)Loading...
The Witty Nun
Three men once went to the most important baseball game of the season. They were disappointed to find themselves sitting directly behind three nuns as they thought they couldn’t be as rowdy as usual. To fix this problem, they decide to try to get the nuns to move. The first guy says (quite loudly), “I’m going to move to California. There are only 100 Catholics there.” The second guy catches on and states, “I’m going to move to Wisconsin. There…
(0)Loading...
New State Mottos for the 21st Century
Alabama: At Least We’re Not Mississippi Alaska: But It’s a Dry Cold Arizona: But It’s a Dry Heat Arkansas: Litterasy Ain’t Everthing California: Nouvelle Cuisine and Religions You Never Heard Of Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Forget It Connecticut: Like Massachusetts Only Dirtier Delaware: You’ll Love the Chemicals in Our Water Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids Georgia: We Put the Fun in Fundamentalist Extremism Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)…
(0)Loading...