Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man wakes up in the hospital to find his doctor looking down on him and soon the doctor says, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we were forced to amputate both your legs.” The man, after regaining his composure, then asks, “What on earth is the good news?” With a slight smile, the doctor replies, “The man in the next bed wants to buy your slippers!”
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A young woman was suffering badly from hay fever. She was going to a fancy dinner party that night and figured she would need at least two handkerchiefs to get her through the evening. She didn’t have any pockets, so she stuffed them both in her bra. Halfway through the night, she had already used up one handkerchief and was rummaging around in her bra for the other one. She was having trouble finding it, and soon she noticed that…
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A team of archaeologists were working when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance. 1. A dog 2. A donkey 3. A shovel 4. A fish 5. A Star of David They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists…
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Moses’ account of creation in the book of Genesis is so familiar and so entrenched in our cultural heritage, that many accept as actual historical fact, the assertion that Woman was created from one of Adam’s ribs. Science has railed against such simple beliefs for centuries. Last week at a dig in the escarpments along the western shore of the Dead Sea, archeologists uncovered ancient, original texts that predate Moses’ writings by 1,300 years. Translated, their account of life’s beginnings…
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St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for new arrivals. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. “Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?” “Sure,” replied Jesus. “What do I have to do?” “Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven.” “Sounds easy enough. OK.” So Jesus waited at the gates while St. Peter went…
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In the garden of Eden stood Adam Stroking the quiff of his madam And he quivered with mirth For he knew that on earth There were only two balls and he had em
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1. Hey baby, why don’t you sit on my lap, and we’ll talk about the first thing that POPS up!!! 2. (motion for girl to come here with one finger), “If I can make you come with this finger, imagine what I could do with all five!” 3. Nice shoes, wanna fuck? 4.If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me? 5. Fuck me if I’m wrong….but haven’t we met before? 6. Do…
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Santa Claus: An engineer’s perspective I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each. II.…
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There were these three nuns and they were trying to get into heaven. So God appeared and said, “Answer this question correctly, and I’ll let you in.” So he asked the first nun, “Who was the first man on earth?” The nun said, “Adam” So God said, “Bamm! You’re in heaven.” So he asked the second nun, “Who was the first woman on earth?” And she said, “Eve!” So God said, “Bamm! You’re in heaven.” Finally it was the third…
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Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Tim?” “My goldfish died,” replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your stupid…
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