Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Classic Version – The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he?s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. Modern Version – the ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and…
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Rosalina, a lovely young lass, had a truly magnificent ass! Oh, not rounded and pink, as you probably think. It was gray, had long ears and ate grass!
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As you know, I have been delivering presents to good boys and girls for several centuries, but after bypass surgery last Spring, I feel that I can no longer visit every home on earth in the early hours of Christmas morning. Accordingly, I have asked a distant cousin on my father’s side if he would assume some of my responsibilities by visiting the homes in the southern USA, as he is from the deep South himself…actually the South Pole. His…
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Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a $26,000 phone bill. Has won the Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running. When asked for their phone number, they give it in hex. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down. Somehow gets HBO on their PC at work. Mumbled, “Oh, puh-leeeez!” 295 times during the movie “The Net.” Massive 401k contribution made in half-cent increments. Their video dating profile lists “public-key encryption” among turn-ons. Instead of the “Welcome”…
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A scientist is deep in the amazon rainforest. When he walks through a native village he suddenly hears drums playing from beyond. The natives panic and run away. The scientist stops one of them and asks what’s going on. “Is bad” the man says, “Is very bad when drums stop”. And the man runs away. The scientist walks on through the (now abandoned) village when suddenly the drums stop. Quickly he jumps into one of the houses. In the house…
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It was past lunchtime when a man with a cane entered a small diner. When the diner owner handed him the menu, the customer said to the owner, “I’m sorry I can’t read your menu. I’m blind.” The owner apologized and asked what the customer wanted to eat. The blind man said, “Could me bring me a used spoon? I could tell what your special for the day is just by smelling the spoon.” Although the diner owner was skeptical…
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Upon reaching her 18th birthday, a girl paid her divorced father a visit to receive her gift. After giving his only child the gift, the man handed her a check and told her, “Give this check to your mother. Tell her that this is the last check she will receive from me for child support as you are now 18 years old. Then tell me how that old witch will react to the news.” When the girl handed the check…
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I just heard there’s going to be an extra scene included in the DVD release of EMPIRE STRIKES BACK coming up next year! Basically, it expands on the scene where Vader reveals his fatherhood to Luke, and ties up some loose ends created with the release of Episode 1… The Empire Strikes Back: Extra-Special Edition ———————————————– INT: BESPIN GANTRY – MOMENTS LATER: A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry.…
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Kelvin comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answered Kelvin. The guard says, “We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Kelvin overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but…
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Manny is almost 29 years old. His friends have already gotten married, but Manny still just dates and dates. Finally, a friend asks him, “What’s the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you that particular? Can’t you find anyone who suits you?” “No,” Manny replies. “I meet many nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my Mother doesn’t like them. So I keep on looking!” “Listen,” his friend suggests, “Why…
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