Drinks Jokes - page 7

man in a bar

One day a guy walks into a bar sits down and orders two shots of scotch. He drinks the shots pulls a picture out of his pocket and says, “Bar tender, two more shots please!” He drinks the shots and again pulls the picture out of his pocket. “Bar tender, two more shots please!” The Bar tender asks him, “Why do you keep ordering two shots and then look at the picture in your pocket?” “The picture is of my…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokeman in a bar

Mastercard Commercial for Men

Cover charge: $15.00 Round of drinks: $23.00 Table dance: $30.00 Another round of drinks: $23.00 Couch dance and tips: $50.00 A round of shots: $34.00 Private dance in your hotel room: $300.00 Send her on her way and never have to hear her complain: PRICELESS!!! Some things money can’t buy, for everything else there’s MasterCard!

(1)Loading...

Read JokeMastercard Commercial for Men

What Have You Got?

Over drinks one evening, two gentlemen were having a discussion about the charms or lack there-of of Pamela Anderson. “I say she’s highly over-rated,” said one. “Take away her eyes, her lips, her legs, those great boobs, the rest of her figure and what have you got?” “My wife,” said the other with a heavy sigh . . . .

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWhat Have You Got?

Now that’s magic!

A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. After he drinks it he looks into his shirt pocket shakes his head and asks for another one. This goes on for a few hours until the bartender starts getting curious. He walks up to the man and asks him what the hell he’s doing. “This is the way it goes”, he answers, “I have a picture of my wife in my pocket. I drink until she looks good…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNow that’s magic!

TONS of Blonde Jokes

1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeTONS of Blonde Jokes

Husbands trip to the store

A man’s wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He walks down to the store only to find it closed, so he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After they’ve had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHusbands trip to the store

Your Wife?

Man walks into the bar and says, “Bartender, give me 4 shots of tequila!” Bartender says, “Jeez buddy, rough day?” Man says,”I just found out my younger brother is gay.” Bartender says,”oh..I’m sorry..” And he pours the drinks… Next day, same man walks into the bar and says, “Bartender, give me 4 shots of tequila!” Bartender says, “You still having trouble with your gay younger brother?” Man says, “No, I just found out that my older brother is gay.” Bartender…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeYour Wife?

wackiness in the workplace

“How to Keep the Wackiness Alive in the Modern Workplace, Part I” ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document. Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during he meeting. During the meeting, eat 5 entire raw potatoes. Insist that your e-mail address be “[email protected]” Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him/her…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokewackiness in the workplace

Two guys save a life

Two guys were seated at the end of a bar when a gorgeous young lady sits down at the other end and orders a martini. The two guys are staring at her while she drinks her martini and all of a sudden she begans to choke. The two guys get up and run to her end of the bar. The first guy said “Can you speak?” She shook her head No! The second Guy said “Can you breathe?” She shook…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTwo guys save a life

Pete on the plane (Part One)

Peter was going on his first flight and he was so nervous about flying that the stewartess had to ask the pilot to talk to him to calm him down. “Look, Pete” the pilot said, “there’s really nothing to be worried about, this is the safest plane in the sky!” “Really?” Peter said with a gleam of hope in his eyes. “Yeah, so just relax, lay back, have a few drinks, get drunk and pass out, and the flight will…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokePete on the plane (Part One)