Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The sky was dark The moon was high The wind did fade All alone, she and I Her hair was soft Her eyes were blue I knew just what She wanted to do Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine I didn’t know how But I tried my best I started by placing My hands on her breast I remember my fear My fast beating heart But slowly she spread Her long…
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Ten Things Whipped Guys Do 10. Asks if there is anything more he can do for her (wihout sarcasm). 9. Goes to the store to get stuff for her and likes it. 8. Leaves fresh towels in the bathroom. 7. Actually listens to her problems and will turn off the tv to do so. 6. Gives a backrub if it looks like her neck is sore. 5. Gives her a backrub if it looks like her neck is sore. 4.…
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John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful John’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, John volunteered, “I know what you must be…
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‘Twas the night before Christmas, Old Santa was pissed, He cussed out the elves, And threw down his list, “Miserable little pricks, Ungrateful little jerks, I have good mind, To scrap the whole works! I’ve busted my ass, For damn near a year, Instead of ‘Thanks Santa,’ What do I hear? The old lady bitches, ‘Cause I work late at night, The elves want more money, The reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk, And goosed all the maids, Donner is…
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Do you know how to pass an elephant under the door? Put him in an envelope… What if it doesn’t fit? Take off the seal… How do you hide an elephant in an strawberry field? Paint his nails red… How do you make an elephant not pass by the door? Make a knot in his tail… How do you know that there is an elephant in the pool? There is a round pair of shoes beside the pool… How does…
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A man walks into a supermarket in downtown L.A. and heads straight to the produce section. After looking at the heads of fresh lettuce on display, the customer approaches the store clerk and asks, “Excuse me. Can I buy half a head of lettuce?” Shaking his head, the clerk says, “I’m sorry. But we sell those by the whole head.” “But I don’t need a whole head, just half. C’mon surely you can accommodate my simple request,” insists the customer.…
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‘Twas the night before Christmas, Da whole house was mella, Not a creature was stirrin’, Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla. When up on da roof I heard somethin’ pound, I sprung to da window, To scream, “YO! Keep it down!” When what to my Wanderin’ eyes should appear, But da Don of all elfs, And eight friggin’ reindeer! Wit’ slicked back black hair, And a silk red suit, don Christopher wuz here, And he brought da loot!…
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“You’re in incredibly fine condition,” the doctor concluded, after finishing a thorough physical exam. “How old did you say you were, Sir?” “Seventy-eight.” “Seventy-eight! Why, you have the health of a sixty-year-old. What’s your secret?” “I guess, Doc, it’s due to a pact the wife and I made when we got married. She promised that if she was ever about to lose her temper, she’d stay in the kitchen ’til she cooled off. And I pledged that when I got…
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A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede thier position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the husband replied, “inlaws.”
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Overheard by the parents of a selfish child.. “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep, And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my toys to break, So none of the other kids can play with em’. Amen”
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