Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There was this happily married couple that decided to have a baby. After nine hard long months the mother finally started having contractions and it was time to go to the hospital. The mother was really scared of all the pain she was going to go through so she told the doctors that she wanted all the drugs she could get. The head doctor said, “We have designed a new device that transfers the pain from the mother of the…
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn’t live there. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? (Jared: what do you think?) Whatever happened to preparations A through G? If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? I went…
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A blonde secretary joins her boss on a business trip. They arrive the night before and stay in a hotel. She is told to meet him at the meeting at 9:00am the next day. One and a half hours into the meeting the boss calls his secretary to find out why she has not shown up? The boss: “You are 1 1/2 hours late! Why are you not here?” The secretary: “Well I am having a little bit of trouble…
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A lady and her son moved in a house next door to a church and the church was next door to the grocery store. So every time the son would pass the church on his way to the store, he could hear the Deacon shouting the phrase, “Open the doors, Open them wide, let the good Lord and the fresh air fly by”. So this procedure went on for days, then weeks as the little boy became aggitated every time…
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A man and a woman were just finishing up a first date on the woman’s doorstep. She gives him a kiss and says goodbye. The man says, “Wait a minute. Aren’t you going to invite me upstairs?” The woman, obviously surprised at his question, replies, “Oh, my. Well, I just coudn’t invite a man into my room on the first date!” And the man asks, “Oh? Well how about a last date?”
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During World War II, Mrs. Anderson decided to celebrate Thanksgiving by having several soldiers in as guests. She called the neighboring army base, was connected with one of the first sergeants, and asked that three soldiers be sent to her house the following Thursday. “And Sergeant,” she added, “I do not wish any of them to be Jewish.” “I understand, ma’am,” said the sergeant. Came Thursday and on Mrs. Anderson’s doorstep stood three fine looking black soldiers in spotless uniforms.…
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TEN simple indications that the person next to you on the subway is “Nuts”. (A Luis G. Moreno original) 10.The guy next to you points out a location on the subway map with his toes. 9.The lady next to you makes “chomping” noises with her teeth at everyone, indicating that she wants some gum. 8.The person next to you repeatedly sits and stands on the seat beside you claiming, “I’m ..not…..NUTS!…I’m ..not ….NUTS!” 7.The lady next to you looks at…
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An Avon lady gets on to an elevator after going door to door in a high-rise apartment complex. After going back down three floors, she rips the loudest most foul-smelling fart anyone’s ever done figuring no one would get on with her. The elevator stops at the next floor. Thinking fast she pulls out a bottle of a pine-scented fragrance and sprays it all over the elevator as much as she can before the door opens. A man got on…
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Your Mommy is so fat that when she goes trick or treating she knocks on garage doors!
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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs: at your doorstep? Matt under a car? Jack hanging on the wall? Art floating in the ocean? Bob up in a tree? Russell
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