Doe Jokes - page 21

Intellectually Challenged

Colorful descriptions for the intellectually challenged: A few fries short of a happy meal. The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead. Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit all of the branches on the way down. A few clowns short of a circus. A few beers short of a six-pack. A few peas short of a pod. Doesn’t have all his corn flakes in…

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Billy the Clint

Billy The Clint. Remake of and inspired by one of the previous JOWs called “Billy the Kid” Young Billy wanted to be the best, quickest lover in the World, and when he spotted Casanova having a beer in a bar, he asked if he could have a word with him. “Sure, son, what’s on your mind?” asks Giacomo, looking up at the young man. “Sir, I want to be the best and quickest lover there is, and I’d be in…

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Decaf destroys brain cells…

Here’s the background: Ian works in a coffee, bagels, and sandwiches trailer on the campus of UNH. (The University of New Hampshire, for those not from the East Coast of the U.S.) Vinnie is his boss and the owner of the truck, and yes, according to Ian, this actually happened. Ian is telling the story. Her: Yes, I’d like a milk with some coffee in it. Me: So, that’s just a splash of coffee in a milk? Her: No, a…

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Fore !!

A lady begins her first shot of the day off the tee. Unfortunately it slices and before she can yell FORE! It hits a man about 150 yrds away. The man throws his hands together, reaches in between his legs and drops! Feeling terrible about this, the lady runs to him and says, “Are you alright?” He just moans rolling back and forth on the ground with his hands at his crotch. She says, “Let me help you. I’m a…

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Bill Gates in Hell

Bill Gates died, and went to hell. As he got there, he was welcomed by the devil himself, who said, “Welcome, we’re going to give you three choices of rooms.” The ex-billionaire agreed and Lucifer showed him the first choice. It was very decorated and had a gorgeous, and stunning woman with a bottle of wine, and also included an IBM PC, which was turned on and was Windows 98. Bill Gates didn’t even want to see the other two…

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Yo mamma so fat

Yo mamma so fat she fills the bath tub, then puts in the water. Yo mamma so fat she has a hula hoop for a belly button ring. Yo mamma so fat her belly gets home fifteen minutes before she does.

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Advice for Yankees

Tips For Yankees 1.) Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it. 2.) If you forget a Southerner’s name, refer to him (or her) as Bubba. You have a 50% of being right. 3.) Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows. 4.) If you do run your car in a ditch, don’t panic. Four men…

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Rest Room Signs

RESTROOM SIGNS Friends don’t let friends take home ugly men —Women’s restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE Remember, it’s not, “How high are you?” it’s “Hi, how are you?” —Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. —Men’s Room, Linda’s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina To do is to be – Descartes To be is to do – Voltaire Do be…

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