Doc doc Jokes - page 43

Brain Transplant

A person walked into a doctor’s office. “Can I get a brain transplant?” the person asked the doctor. “Sure,” she replied. “You can have a doctor’s brain for $100, a pilot’s brain for $150, or a politician’s brain for $10,872.” “Why is the politician’s brain so expensive?” asked the person. “Oh, it’s never been used,” the doctor replied.

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Top 10 Signs You Have a Drinking Problem

10. “Norm” is what they say when you enter the bar. 9. Two hands and one mouth….Now THAT’S a drinking problem. 8. 24 hours a day, 24 beers in a case … coincidence??? 7. You sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group. 6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. 5. At an AA meeting you begin: “Hi my name is….uh…”. 4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.…

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Barbie And Ken’s Letters To Santa

Barbie’s Letter To Santa: Dear Santa: Listen, you fat little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAY BACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I’m gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you…

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The LAST one!

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which he was most at ease. “Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?” “Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.” “What sort of question?” “Well, you might ask him,…

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ELIZABETH TAYLOR

Elizabeth Taylor walks into her plastic surgeons office one day and says to him, ?Over the years I have had my boobs done, my butt done and my face done. Now I would like to have down below done.? So her doctor says, ?sure, that?s no problem.? Elizabeth replies ? but there?s just one thing…I ask of you and that is to keep this a secret from everyone. I am tired of the press and the public knowing about every…

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illness

A man goes to the doctor and says: Doc, you have to help me. Sometimes I wake up and feel like Mickey Mouse, sometimes I wake up and feel goofy. The doc asks: How long have you had these Disney spells?

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Sore Testicles

There was a midget who complained to his buddy that his testicles ached all the time. As he was always complaining about his problem, his friend suggested that he go to the doctor and see what he could do to relieve the problem. The midget took his advice and went to the doctor. The doctor told him to drop his pants, and he would have a look. The midget did this, and the doctor put him up onto the examining…

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15-incher

There was this guy who went to the doctor and said, “Doc, I have this bad stuttering problem, because of this, I can’t get no women and so I can’t get no pussy.” (saying every word in a stuttering mode) So the doctor checks him and finds the cause of his stuttering. He says, “Your penis is at least 15 inches and it’s so heavy that it’s pulling on the muscles of your tongue. That’s the cause of your stuttering.”…

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Frog

A man walks into a doctors office with a frog on his head. The doctor asks what the problem is. The frog replies, “There’s a bum on my ass.”

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