Doctor
A man goes to the doctor who tells him that he has some bad news. The doctor tells him he a has cancer and alzheimers, to which the man replies: “Well, at least I don’t have cancer”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Doc doc Jokes - page 2
Expensive Doctor
A young woman wasn’t feeling well and asked one of her co-workers to recommend a physician. “I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. He charges five hundred dollars for your initial visit and one hundred dollars for each one after that.” The woman decided to see this doctor and save a little money, too. She walks in and cheerily announced, “I’m back!” Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said,…
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Three Doctors
Three surgeons were at lunch one day having a conversation about what they liked the most about operating. The first surgeon said: “I like operating on accountants because their insides are numbered.” The second surgeon said: “I enjoy operating on librarians because their insides are in alphabetical order.” The third doctor said: “I really love to operate lawyers becasue they are spineless, heartless, gutless, and best of all, their heads and asses are interchangeable.”
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Doctors office
A man walks in the doctors with a carrot sticking out of his ear, spaggeti all over his hair, and corn flakes down his front. The doctor says you haven’t been eating properly have you?
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Doctor’s Notes
Sometimes the truth is more amusing than fiction…. A nurse at the beginning of the shift places her stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” instructed the nurse. “Yes, they used to be,” remorsed the patient. ********** One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more that five minutes later, I heard her reporting…
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Late Doctor’s Appointment
Mrs. Jones called the doctor’s office and was met with this response by the secretary. “This is Dr. Whitman’s office. What would you like to talk about?” Mrs. Jones was disturbed by this response and replied, sarcastically, “I want to order a hamburger with fries. For goodness sakes, why would I call a doctor if I didn’t feel sick? I’m very sick. I need to see the doctor.” “Fine,” replied the secretary, “I can make an appointment for you. Let…
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IRS Employee visits the Doctor
IRS Worker: It’s been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable. Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you? IRS Worker: I sure did. The bottle said “Keep tightly closed.” (PS — Hey, I know the fact that the patient is an IRS employee does NOT make the joke any funnier for YOU, but I’m not gonna turn down ANY opportunity to diss those slimy bastards!!)
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Lawyers and Doctors
Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a physician got on and took the aisle seat next to the two attorneys. The physician kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the attorney in the window seat said,” I think I’ll get up and get a Coke.” “No problem,” said the physician, “I’ll get it for you.” While he…
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Doctor Guilt
One afternoon a doctor had an affair with one of his patients. After sending his patient home, the doctor had a little voice inside of him that kept saying, “I can’t believe you just had an affair with one of your patients. That is so wrong, and it goes against everything you stand for.” Then this other voice inside him kept saying, “Don’t worry, you’re not the first doctor to ever have an affair with a patient, and you certainly…
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Goofy doctor
A certain doctor was making his daily rounds at the hospital. The nurse on duty came up to him with a patient’s file and said, “Doctor, when you changed this patient’s medication, you forgot to sign her file.” The doctor reached behind his ear to retrieve his pen so he could sign the form, but was surprised to find a rectal thermometer there instead. “Shit!” cried the doctor. “Some asshole has my pen!”
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