Dirty room Jokes - page 2

Why Cucumbers are Better than Men

The average cucumber is at least six inches long Cucumbers stay hard for a week A Cucumber won’t tell you that size doesn’t count Cucumbers don’t get too excited A Cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety Cucumbers are easy to pick up You can fondle Cucumbers in the supermarket…and you know how firm it is before you take one home Cucumbers can get away any weekend With a Cucumber you can get a single room…and you won’t have to check…

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IDIOTS!!!

#1)Q-Why did the idiot leave the bathroom door open when he sat on the toilet? A-So that no one would peek at him through the key-hole!!! ***** #2)Q-Why did the idiot put a bag of garbage on his tv set? A-So that he could watch dirty movies!!! ***** #3)Q-Why did the idiot take the car door with him to the beach? A-So that when he got hot he could open the window and get some fresh air!!!

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feet first

One day in Sunday school, the teacher asked if anybody knew how to get to Heaven? Dirty Johnny replied, “Feet first”. The teacher asked him how this could be and Dirty Johnny said, “Last week I walked by my parents’ room and my mom’s feet were spread up in the air and she was screaming, “OH GOD, OH GOD, I’M COMING, I’M COMING” and my daddy was on top of her holding her down saying, “NO PLEASE, NOT YET, NOT…

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Great to be a Guy

102 REASONS IT’S GREAT TO BE A GUY. 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks. 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. Monday Nite Football. 6. You don’t have to monitor your friends sex lives. 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 8. You can open all your own jars. 9. Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained…

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Trick Or Treat

Top 10 things that sound dirty but aren’t on Halloween… 10. She’s a goblin! 9. I’d like to get a little something in the sack tonight. 8. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head. 7. She’s got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch 6. If you just lick it, it’ll last longer. 5. Let me see your big sack! 4. Can I eat your Zagnuts? 3. Have your mom check it before you put…

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A Sick Hamster?

I had to take my son’s hamster to the vet. Here’s what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something wrong” with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room. “He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “Oldest trick in the book,” I informed him. “You go in to see what’s wrong with the sick one and the other one sneaks up behind you and bonks you…

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What Men Really Mean

“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “Let’s take your car.” Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.” “Woman driver.” Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.” “I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”…

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Heavenly Parts!!!

The teacher of a third grade class was having a discussion about what body parts go to heaven first. She asked her students which they thought and Sarah, Jake and Little Jonny in the back raised their hands. The teacher thought to herself that she better not ask Jonny because he would just say something perverted. So she asked Sarah. Sarah: “The head because you have to be smart to get into heaven.” Then the teacher asked Jake. Jake: “Your…

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