Different man Jokes - page 8

1. Connection – Heh… what connection? 2. Complicated – Once you finally connect to the Internet (see #1), the thing that they don’t tell you when you get the Internet is how impossible it is to use if you have never used it before. They all think it is sooo easy, and I probably would think it was easy too if I programmed it. If you are dedicated enough to actually try to figure it out, that is close to…

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01. You can name everyone with whom you graduated. 02. You know what 4-H is, and WHY. 03. You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road. 04. You used to drag “main.” 05. You said the “F” word and your parents knew, within the hour. 06. You scheduled parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn’t — same goes…

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There was a contest held in Japan, the contest was between three Ninjas from different countries. There was a Japanese Ninja, an American Ninja and a Trinidadian Ninja. The contest was who can chop flies the best. So the Japanese Ninja went first, the fly came flying about and in a flash the Japanese Ninja chopped the fly in half with one strike, the crowed went wild. The American Ninja went next and with great speed and skill the fly…

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A woman was on her way to her annual OB/GYN appt. She was running late, but wanted to freshen up a bit first, so she stopped by her daughter’s place instead of her own since it was closer. She ran into the bathroom, and ran through the customary touch-ups, and finished off with a little feminine deodorant spray. You know…for freshness. Anyway, her examination was pretty unremarkable with the exception of an odd comment the Dr. made at the beginning…

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1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. 2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. 3. Twitch a lot. 4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. 5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. 6. Become a subgenius. 7. Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG. 8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat.…

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As a professional clown, John entertains groups at parties and company picnics. Once, an inebriated guest began heckling him in the middle of a performance, disrupting his act. Trying to ignore him wasn’t working, so he used a different tactic. Slipping his arm around his shoulder, John looked him in the eye and said, “Mister, I get paid to dress up and make a fool of myself–what’s your excuse? He said not another word!

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