Hanging Nuts
What did one nut say to the other nut? Why are we the one’s hanging? Dick did the shooting.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Dick Jokes - page 9
What’s In A Name?
Two women, one a blonde and the other a brunette, walk into the supermarket to buy some groceries. From a distance, the blonde spots a handsome guy who is known by both women. She then calls out, “Hey, Dick! Yoohoo, Dick!” However, the guy ignores her calls and moves on. The brunette nudges the blonde and says, “That guy’s name is Peter!” “Oh,” says the blonde. “I knew it was somewhat similar.”
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Little Johnny Versus The Streetwalkers
On his way home from school, Little Johnny always passed by a street corner where a group of prostitutes would be standing around. These streetwalkers would smile and wave their pinkies at Little Johnny while greeting him, “Hello there, cute little boy!” This went on for several days until Little Johnny decided to confront the prostitutes. He asked, “Why do you keep waving your pinkies at me?” The prostitutes laughed out loud and one of them said, “Oh, we were…
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popeye’s dressing
Q: Why doesn’t Popeye’s dick get rusty? A: Because he keeps it in Olive Oil.
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No Ice Cream for YOU
A husband comes home with a half gallon of ice cream. He asks his wife if she wants some. “How hard is it?” she asks. “About as hard as my dick,” he replies. “OK, then pour me some! ! !”
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Almond Daiquiri
There was a doctor who always went to a certain bar & ordered the same thing – a daiquiri with crushed almonds on top. The bartender, Dick, sees him coming in and starts to make his daiquiri but realizes that he doesn’t have any crushed almonds. He asks his co-worker to run next door to the confectionary to buy more. All the guy could find were hickory nuts. He figures they’ll do, so crushes them & sprinkles them over his…
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No “R”s
Michael said to his friend Tom : Can you say this sentence without using any “R”s? : “Richard and Robert raped the rabbit.” After considerable thought, Tom finally said….”Dick and Bob fucked the bunny”.
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Official Baby Boomer Exam
OFFICIAL BABY BOOMER EXAM Answers below 1. “Kookie; Kookie. Lend me your ________________.” 2. The “battle cry” of the hippies in the sixties was “Turn on; tune in;________________.” 3. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, “Who was that masked man?” Invariably, someone would answer, “I don’t know, but he left this behind.” What did he leave behind?__________________ 4. Folk songs were played side by side with rock and…
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The raffle
Tom, Dick and Harry were in the pub enjoying a few quiet drinks one night, when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. They bought five $1 tickets each, seeing it was for charity. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize. Tom won the first prize – a whole year’s supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce. Dick was the winner of the second prize – six month’s supply of extra-long gourmet spaghetti. And…
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Funny E-mail Addresses
When creating email addresses, many colleges and businesses tend to strip the last name down to 6 characters and add the first and middle initial to either the beginning or end. For example, Mary L. Ferguson = mlfergus or fergusml. They are just now beginning to realize the problems that may occur when there is a large and diverse pool of accounts. Add to that a large database of company/college acronyms and you have some very funny addresses. TOP TEN…
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