Desert Jokes - page 5

Funny from the Headlines

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”. He received a $26 million severance package. With a Little Help from Our Friends! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up… …And What Was…

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Moses and Bush

George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long, flowing, white robe with a long, flowing, white beard and flowing, white hair. The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm. George W. approached the man and inquired, “Aren’t you Moses?” The man ignored George W. and stared at the ceiling. George W. positioned himself more directly in the man’s view and asked again, “Aren’t you Moses?” The man…

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Stuck

A man and his wife are driving down a deserted road while on vacation. In the deepening gloom, the man fails to see a deer in the road until the last second. In a panic he swerves and drives off the road, down an embankment and into a tree. Now, the collision was so bad that the couples clothes were shredded and they were left essentially naked. The husband was trapped in the wreckage but the wife managed to free…

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THE WISDOM OF THE DEVIL

A MAN IS LOST IN THE DESERT HE IS CLAIMING FOR WATER. THEN OUT OF THE GROUND THE DEVIL POPS UP. HE ASKS THE MAN TO GIVE UP HIS SOUL. THE MAN REPLYS NO. THE DEVIL SAYS, IF YOU CAN MAKE AN ASS OUT OF ME I WILL LET YOU LIVE. IF YOU DONT I WILL KILL YOU. SO THE MAN SAY OK TO THE DEVIL.M THE DESPRETE MAN LOOK ALL AROUND HIM AND FINDS AN EMPTY CAN. HE POKES…

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Island girl

A man and his wife had been stranded on a deserted island for many years. The morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes up on the shore. The new guy and the wife are very attracted to each other right away, but they realize that certain protocols will have to be observed. The husband, oblivious to the pheromones floating around, is very glad to see the second man there. “This is wonderful! Now we’ll be able to have…

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Damn the Luck

A young, lonely guy driving across the country decided to pick up a stunning, blonde hitchhiker. A few miles into the trek, the blonde started coming onto him, so needless to say, he pulled over to the side of the desolate, deserted road so she could give him some oral pleasure. Once his pants were down around his ankles, the blonde surprised him with a gun and bound his wrists to his ankles. Then, she robbed him of his wallet…

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Stranded on an island with a blond

Once, there were three people stranded on a deserted island, a redhead, a blonde, and a brunette. The closest civilization was 20 miles away. They decided that their only hope was to swim back to the mainland. The redhead swam out 10 miles, got tired, and drowned. The brunette swam out 15 miles, got tired, and drowned. The blonde swam 19 and 5/6th miles, got tired, and swam back to the island.

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