Deer Jokes - page 4

by the grace of god

Two men were out hunting one day,when one man says to the other i’ve gotta shit. His friend tells him to make sure he goes downwind so he won’t scare the deer. After the first man had been gone for about twenty minutes a huge deer comes walking up and the remaining man shoots it. When hisfriend didn’t yell out to ask if he killed it , he deciced he should search for the man. Thinking his buddy may have…

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How Indians Name Their Children

A young Indian boy asks the Indian chief,”Grandfather why do all of us Indians have strange names?” He replies,”Well son in the dawn of the day into which the young were born, the indian brave will leave his teepee. The first thing he see’s will be the name of his young.” “Like your sister, Running Deer, the first thing your father saw was a running deer and,your brother Flying Eagle, the first thing your father saw was a flying eagle.…

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Newlyweds a-hunting

Joe and Ken always hunt together, but Ken gets married and is forced to bring his new bride along. Ken tells his wife to straighten out the cabin and fix lunch while he and Joe look for a good spot to hunt deer. They arrive on top of this big cliff and proceed to look for the best spot for their treestand. Joe tells Ken he can see the cabin; Ken says never mind that look for a good spot.…

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‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE IMPEACHMENT

‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE IMPEACHMENT December 17, 1998 ‘Twas The Night Before Impeachment, when all through the House, All the Congress was stirring, even Conyers, the louse. The Articles were hung by the Capitol with care, In hopes that Saint Bubba would be trapped in the lair. The Republicans were nestled, all smug with The Feds, While visions of perjury danced in their heads. And Barr with his rhetoric and Hyde with his trap, Had just settled in for a…

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Santa’s Bitter

T’was the night before Chrismas – Old Santa was pissed He cussed out the elves and threw down his list Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks I have good mind to scap the whole works I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year Instead of “Thanks Santa” – whad do i hear The old lady bitches cause I work late at night The elves want more money – The reindeer all fight Rudoph got drunk and goosed all the…

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Who Wants To Be Millionaire? Christmas Special

This ghetto lady goes on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and she is going for the $1000 dollar question. Regis: Name two of Santa’s reindeer? A) Dancer & Prancer B) Vixon & Nixon C) Comit & Star D) Olive & Rudolph Ghetto Lady: (D) Olive & Rudolph ***** Audience Chuckles ***** ***** Regis Chuckles ***** Regis: Is that your final answer? Ghetto Lady: Yes Regis: You Sure? Ghetto Lady: Yes Regis: I’m sorry but you are wrong! Do you…

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Bus driver

A little boy gets on a bus and sits behind the bus driver. As they’re driving along, the boy sings, “If my daddy was a bull and my mommy was a cow, then I’d be a little bull.” Annoyed, the bus driver tells the little boy to sit down, but the little boy continues, “If my daddy was a stag and my mommy was a deer, I’d be a little stag.” The bus driver tells the boy to shut up,…

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Hunters

There were these three hunters that were fixing to go hunting in a familiar part of the woods. The first man set up while the other two still hunted. The first hunter was sitting in his tree when he got cold and sleepy. He got him a dip of Skoal and realized he had to take a shit. He didn’t want to climb down so he just shit over the side. He then fell asleep. The other two hunters killed…

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911 Follies

The following exchanges are taken from transcripts of allegedly true 911 calls. ———————————————- Nobody Knows Me …. Caller: “I’d like to make a unanimous complaint, so don’t use my name.” ———————————————- Deer Roadkill … Caller: “I’m reporting a deer on the road. I almost hit it.” Call-taker: “Is the deer alive?” Caller: “Oh, no, it’s run over. Many, many cars. Again and again, and – OH NO!!! NOT AGAIN!” ———————————————- This Is A Recording… Not. Caller: “Am I talking to…

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