Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I was in Chinatown just the other day; walking around trying to find an ATM. Needless to say, I was utterly lost and all those signs around me in foreign languages were of no help. On top of everything, I was hurrying to escape the suffocating, foreign odors emanating from the numerous restaurants and alleys. I turned a corner hoping to catch a breath of fresh air when my eyes sighted a store sign that read “Hans Olafsen Laundry.” How…
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The following company has a little over 500 employees with these statistics: *29 have been accused of spousal abuse *7 have been arrested for fraud *19 have been accused of writing bad checks *117 have bankrupted at least two businesses *3 have been arrested for assault *71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit *14 have been arrested on drug-related charges *8 have been arrested for shoplifting *21 are current defendants in lawsuits In 1998 alone, 84 were…
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There’s a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to the guy with a Chihuahua, “Let’s go over to that restaurant and get something to eat.” The guy with the Chihuahua says, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.” The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, “Just follow my lead.” They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair…
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Dear Jenny, Ann Landers wouldn’t print this. I have nowhere else to turn. I have to get the word out. Warn other parents. I must be rambling on. Let me try and explain. It’s about my son, Billy. He’s always been a good, normal ten-year-old boy. Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp for Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire,…
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A woman was waiting in the check-out line at a shopping center. Her basket was filled with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious that she was in a hurry and not happy about the slowness of the line. When the cashier called for yet another price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked, indignantly, “Well, at this rate, I’ll be lucky to get out of here and…
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During the Cold War many years ago, a young man would ride his bicycle every day from Italy up to the check-point at the Yugoslav border where he would be questioned by the uniformed border-guard. “Where are you going today, Capitalist Scumbag?” asked the guard. “To visit my mother, Sir.” “Step inside. You will be searched,” ordered the guard. The young man was thoroughly searched and released, but the guard remained suspicious. This routine was repeated every day for several…
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One day, George was cleaning out the attic and in one box, he found a claim ticket for a pair of shoes at the local shoe repair shop. What caught his attention was the date on the claim ticket which read June 30, 1989 – nearly ten years ago. Amused by his discovery, George went downstairs and showed the claim ticket to his wife Martha. Scrutinizing the piece of paper, Martha remarked, “Hmmm, I can’t recall if I had any…
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You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say “Oh wow, thanks!” Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube. Your boss’ favorite lines are “when you get a few minutes”, “in your spare time”, “when you’re freed up”, and “I have an opportunity for you.” Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January. Your relatives and family describe your job as “works with computers”. Change is the norm. Nepotism is…
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Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to inclement weather she decided to top at a nice hotel for the night. She approached the front desk and requested a room. “Certainly, Madam”, the clerk replied. “Is the coffee shop still open?” she asked. “No, Madam, I’m sorry,” he replied, “but room service is available all night. Would you care to select dinner from this menu?” Mary graciously scanned the menu. “Yes, I think the cauliflower with cheese would be fine,…
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A blonde Texas city girl married a rancher. One morning on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to his new bride, “The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnant one of our cows today. I drove a nail in the two-by-four just above the cows stall in the barn. When he gets here, pease show him where the cow is ok.” The rancher leaves for the fields. The artificial insemination man shows up and…
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