Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day, after a near eternity in the Garden Of Eden, Adam calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem.” “What’s the problem, Adam?” God replies. “Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me. You have surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I am lonely.” “Well, Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a woman for you.” “What’s a woman, Lord?” “This woman will…
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One day, little 6-year-old Eddie walked into the bathroom just as his mother was stepping out of the shower. He could not remember ever seeing her without clothes on. So when his father came home that evening, Eddie took him aside and told him what had happened. “It was scary, Daddy, she doesn’t have a weenie like we do. . .just a big hairy slit between her legs.” “Yes, that’s true, Eddie”, said his father, trying to think of a…
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There once was a boy named Little Jonny. One day he ask his dad if God was black or white? His dad said, “Well, God is a little bit of both.” The next day Jonny ask his dad if God was a man or a wamon? His dad said, “Well, the way they say it, God is a little bit of both.” Then Little Jonny ask is dad, “Is GOD MICHAEL JACKSON?”
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After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was doing on Earth, St. Peter now stood before his boss ready to present his findings. “Tell me, St. Peter, what have you found out?” God asked. “I’m very sorry to have to tell you this, but the people are behaving in a sinful manner. There’s drugs, alcohol, murders, you name it. A regular Sodom and Gomorrah. But the worst is this new obsession with oral sex.…
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One day God called the Pope and said to him, “I have good news and bad news.” The Pope says, “Give me the good news first.” God says, “I have decided to come right out and tell all of the people that there is only one true religion and that is the way it will be from now on.” The Pope replies, “That’s great, but what’s the bad news?” God says, “I’m calling from Salt Lake City.”
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Dear God, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? Norma Dear God, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones,why don’t you just keep the ones you have now? Jane Dear God, Who draws the lines around the countries? Nan Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? Neil Dear God, Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed…
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A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question. “Boys and girls, what do we know about God?” A hand shot up in the air. “He is an artist!” said the kindergarten boy. “Really?! How do you know that?” the teacher asked. “You know–‘Our Father, who does art in Heaven….’”
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There was once a man who couldn’t speak. Everyday, he prayed for God to give him a voice. One day God decided to answer the man’s prayers, so He sprayed Holy Water on the man, miraculously giving him the ability to speak. The man’s first words were: “Who the fuck sprayed water on me!”
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One day God, Jesus and Moses are playing a round of golf. Jesus and Moses have both hit respectable 250+ yard drives on a par 4 with abundant water hazards. God takes his hit; lots of power in the stroke but he hooks badly, and the ball soars toward a deep pond. As it hits the surface, a trout rises beneath it to take a fly; the ball bounces off its head and deflects into the rough. A rabbit which…
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One day God was just sitting on his throne out of his mind bored. So he got one of his Saints, St.Paul. “Paul, go down to earth and count all of my people, and tell me how many are beautiful and how many are ugly.” It took St. Paul 365 days to complete this task. He went up to God and said,”99% of your people are UGLY and the remaining 1% of your people are BEAUTIFUL.” God said, “WHAT? ARE…
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