Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day Moses, Jesus, and God were playing golf together in Heaven. Moses drove the ball far out and it landed in a lake. Moses opened his hands and the water opened up, he then hit the ball once more and it went into the hole. On another hole, Jesus drove the ball far out and it landed in a lake. His ball was floating, so he walked along the water, he hit the ball once more and it went…
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January 10: It’s 5pm. It’s starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we’ve seen in many years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window watching the snow flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was so pristine and beautiful. Things could not be any better. January 11: We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a…
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YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…
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An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and says, “You’re an engineer, you’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the Gates of Hell and is welcomed. Soon, the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell; he begins to design and build improvements. Shortly thereafter, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators. Needless to say, the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day, God calls…
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An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first. It’s easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them. I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path. Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker. It hurts to be on the cutting edge. I don’t get even, I…
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OFFICIAL BABY BOOMER EXAM Answers below 1. “Kookie; Kookie. Lend me your ________________.” 2. The “battle cry” of the hippies in the sixties was “Turn on; tune in;________________.” 3. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, “Who was that masked man?” Invariably, someone would answer, “I don’t know, but he left this behind.” What did he leave behind?__________________ 4. Folk songs were played side by side with rock and…
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies…
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Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, “Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job.” So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports.…
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On the day Forest dies, he meets God. God says: “Forest, you’re a good man, and you’ve led a good life. I will allow you into heaven if you answer three questions correctly.” Question 1. What are the two days of the week that start with T ? Question 2. How many seconds are there in a year? Question 3. What is my (God’s) first name? After much thought, Forest responded. “God, I think I know all the answers to…
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Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to leave Italy. There was, of course, a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with a leader of the Jewish community. If the Jewish leader won the debate, the Jews would be permitted to stay in Italy. If the Pope won, the Jews would have to leave. The Jewish community met and picked an aged Rabbi, Moishe,…
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