Dad Jokes - page 6

Reading the Signs

Friends took their first-grader on a car trip to Canada. To help pass the time, the boy practiced his new reading skills by calling out road signs. He fell asleep just before they entered Quebec. When he awoke, he saw the French highway signs and said in a worried tone, “Daddy, I think I forgot how to read while I was asleep.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeReading the Signs

Scale Talk

Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. “What’s it for?” one asked. “I don’t know,” the other replied. “I think you stand on it, and it makes you mad…at least it does that for my Mom and Dad.”

(1)Loading...

Read JokeScale Talk

Welcome Home, Mom!

Lil’ Johnny’s mother had been away a week at a N.O.W. convention, and when she returned home, she was anxious to hear about his week. “Well, one night we had a thunderstorm, and I was scared, so Daddy and me slept together,” her son said. “Johnny!” said the boy’s French Au Pair, “Don’t you mean ‘Daddy and I’?” “No!” replied Johnny. “That was Thursday. I’m talking about Monday night.”

(3)Loading...

Read JokeWelcome Home, Mom!

Baby Kittens

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. “How did you know?” his mother asked. “Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it was printed on the bottom.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBaby Kittens

Ice Cream for Lil’ Johnny

Ten year old lil’ Johnnie rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen. She says, “Put that away, Johnnie. You can’t have ice cream now. It’s too close to supper time. Go outside and play.” Johnnie whimpers and says, “There’s no one to play with.” Trying to placate him, she says, “OK. I’ll play with you. What do you want to play?” “I wanna play…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeIce Cream for Lil’ Johnny

Loan Frog

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller’s name is Patricia Whack. So he says, “Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.” Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeLoan Frog

Three birds

One day there was three birds sitting on a tree branch trying to figure out which way to fly for winter. Mommy bird said,”my insticts tell me to fly north for winter”. Daddy bird said,”my instincts tell me to fly south for winter”. Baby bird said,”well my end-stinks too, but I still don’t know where to go!”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThree birds

head

Nine months to the day following their wedding, the Coopers had a baby. Unfortunately it was born without arms or legs—without even a torso. It was just a head, still, the Coopers loved and cared for their child, spoiling and indulging it. Finally after 20 years, the Coopers took a much needed vacation, and whom should they meet but a European doctor who had recently achieved a medical breakthrough. “I know,” he said, “how to attach arms and legs to…

(1)Loading...

Read Jokehead